Happy July 4th..... Land of the Cruel and Unequal

Let me say, first of all, that I love the United States of America. There is no greater country in the entire world. I am so proud to be an American. I will never take for granted that freedoms that we have and the price that has been paid for our freedoms.

My friend lost a son in Afghanistan, my own father was a World War II veteran. I have always been the most patriotic person. I love America. It breaks my heart and I feel betrayed by my country and my family, that they cannot accept us for who we are; for whom we love.

Governor Scott Walker (Wisconsin) believes a new law that gives gay couples hospital visitation rights violates the state constitution and has asked a judge to allow the state to stop defending it.

What is the point of this cruelty. Who cares if people who love each other visit each other in the hospital. This is nothing but power hungry, power mongering political play and a case of cruelty. I don't know what the point would be to prevent people seeing each other. For those of you who have experienced this type of discrimination and homophobia, I am sorry. I work in a hospital and I have never seen this type of discrimination and cruelty. I wrote a blog entry on how to avoid this type of evil cruelty. How to Bypass Hospital Homophobia/Discrimination

Matthew Shephard Memorial Site states the following.

On October 6, 1998, Matthew was beaten and tied to a fence just outside of Laramie, Wyoming. Yet, this one tragic event shook the nation. It may have been due to the fact that this murder took place in small town America, as well as a college town. Matthew was a student at the University of Wyoming in Laramie. Even now, it is not fully clear what went on that night of October 6, 1998, but it appears to be a combination robbery and gay-bashing. Even though it has been over five years since Matthew's death, violence against gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender as well as toward minorities continues unabated. This being the case, it is important that as many sites such as this be made available to keep the awareness of this serious problem before the public. In election years, it is all the more important that these issues are addressed by our future leaders. Even though Matthew's murder appears to have been motivated in part due to his being gay, this site exists as a resource for all human rights issues, not just those of the LGBT people.

It is my belief that people like Governor Walker probably did not find the torture and death of Matthew Shepherd disturbing, hateful and sad.

A Republican Representative Eric Turner (R-Marion)in the State of Indiana made the comment as he co-sponsored a bill to further discriminate against EQUAL RIGHTS for all Hoosiers, "...it's nothing personal...it's not like this is hurting anyone..."

I beg to differ. Anytime that discrimination is written into the Constitution of any state, there is hurt being done. Our elected leaders cannot be so oblivious to this fact. They truly cannot believe that they are doing no harm to anyone by separating loved ones...please tell me they don't believe that people who are being told that they are second class citizens...please tell me that they don't believe that no harm is being done. Well, maybe they do believe that because they believe that the people being discriminated against are not deserving of a second thought. Maybe they believe that this group of people is undeserving because of who they love.

A lovely website is Top 10 Anti-Gay Activists Caught Being Gay

Just a quick thought on "He who lives in glass house should not throw stones..." and also the wonderful quote from William Shakespeare, " the lady doeth protest too much..."

My own Independent Fundamental Baptist family has now chosen to not have my wife, our boys and I be part of family functions. Upon announcing to my family that my love of 12 years and I were going to travel to the wonderful state of Iowa and get married, I received a type written letter from my two older sisters, their husbands (one of whom is an evangelist who goes around the United States preaching as to why Christians should memorize the Bible), and their adult children. It said that they had many family meetings (Of which I, my wife, or our other adult nephew were not part)and that:

"We have painfully decided as a family that if you follow through on this immoral act, we would be forced to break a lot of family relationships with you. We would have no desire to have you present at our usual family gatherings...This hurts to say this, but you would no longer be welcome in our homes."

They go on to say that the decision is mine. Yeah right. The sad thing is this, they really think that they are showing me "tough love". They really think that before God they are doing the right thing. They have been sadly disillusioned by power hungry, obsessive compulsive, and tyrannic church leadership. I don't know what they want me to do. Do they want me to give up my wife, my sons, my life, my family...that is exactly what they are asking me to do. Amazingly unbelievable isn't it. It is not their job to tell me how to live my life. I have done major research on what he Bible says about Homosexuality and have posted many entries as to my beliefs on what the Bible says. For those of you who are doubting my ability to understand the Bible I wish to tell you that from the 5th grade to graduating from the Independent Fundamental Baptist School and College, I have been in Bible School.

The Bible Says - Homosexuality

Ruth and Naomi

What Other "Abominations" Should We Condemn?

Then there is the Immigration Discrimination Issue

The vast majority of Americans have no clue as to what it takes to immigrate to the United States. Sadly, President Barak Obama made the statement that there are those who have stood inline for legal immigration..." If it were that easy, to just get in a line and get legal immigration, there would be few illegal immigrants....there would be no undocumented. However, for bi-national same sex couples, there is no line in which to stand. Unless our loved ones are rich, or extremely talented (like Sammy Sosa, Celine Dion), can get a job that no American can do, or are oppressed in their country by their government there is no line for binational same sex couples. Please consider my blog entry on how uneducated the regular American person is about immigration.

This fourth of July, let us hope and pray that this is the last one that we will say that there is a group of people in the United States that does not have equal rights. This is after all, the land of the free where all are created equal.

Congratulations NY, Now Immigration Equality

What a wonderful, exciting, and remarkable victory for equal rights for all. I am referring to the state of New York passing equal marriage rights for all. What a huge landmark decision for equality for all! I so enjoyed reading all of the ecstatic tweets from those in New York as they celebrated Pride.

My favorite moments was when the GOP senators explained their votes. How they could not vote against equality for all Americans. I loved when they said that they could find no legal reason to vote no. I hate to say it, I loved when Senator Saland refused to yield the floor to the only Democrat dissident, Ruben Diaz. Diaz claimed that Senator Saland was “ashamed” of his yes vote after he [Saland] refused to yield to him. Diaz also later claimed his right to speak was being trampled upon when he was continually asked to “wrap it up” after going over the time he (and all the Senate members, regardless of political stance, mind you) was allotted to speak. After Diaz made quite a fool of himself, the Senate was brought back under control. Several passionate speeches by other members of the Senate were made in support of the bill, including Senator Tom Duane,

Senator Carl Kruger, and Senator Mark.
Congratulations New York!
What does this mean for bi-national same sex couples. Currently, it means nothing at all. We still cannot sponsor our spouses, our partners for immigration. We have had some steps in the right direction, but as long as we have not passed immigration reform (the Uniting American Families Act) or repealed the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), bi-national couples are still unable to legally live here in the United States permanently.
ICE Memo on Deportations Provides Guidance on Use of Prosecutorial Discretion Which Will Help Binational Couples

Posted on Advocate.com June 20, 2011 05:15:00 PM ET

New Guidelines on Deportation Cases Could Apply to Gay Couples

By Andrew Harmon

IMMIGRATION PROTEST NEW YORK ARIZONA X390 | ADVOCATE.COM

Immigration officials may be able to consider the circumstances of married binational same-sex couples when making decisions about deportation, although an immigration group in response has asked for further clarification of new federal guidelines.

According to guidelines issued in a Friday memo by U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement director John Morton to field directors, agents, and attorneys, Morton listed 19 criteria that could be considered in deportation cases, including whether an individual has a U.S. citizen spouse, as well as “the person’s ties and contributions to the community” and whether the individual’s nationality “renders removal unlikely.”

Morton specified that the list “is not exhaustive.” In response, an LGBT immigration advocacy group has asked the agency to clarify whether terms like “spouse” and “family” in the memo include gay partners and spouses.

“While ICE has taken a significant step in recognizing that tearing families apart should not be a government priority, it must be explicit that lesbian and gay families are protected, too,” Immigration Equality executive director Rachel Tiven said in a statement today.

Following the Obama administration’s February announcement that it would no longer defend the Defense of Marriage Act in federal court cases, Tiven’s organization and other advocates have called on officials to exercise their discretion in immigration cases involving married gay binational couples because President Barack Obama has said the 1996 law, which prevents federal recognition of same-sex marriages, is unconstitutional.

In some recent, well-publicized cases, officials have perhaps indicated their willingness to exercise such discretion, though the administration has so far said it will not issue a blanket policy on the matter.

“Neither [the Department of Homeland Security] nor [the Department of Justice] has granted any form of relief to the entire category of cases affected by DOMA,” wrote DHS assistant secretary Nelson Peacock and Assistant Attorney General Ronald Reich in a May letter to Sen. John Kerry, D-Mass., and Rep. Zoe Lofgren, D-Calif., replying to correspondence this spring from the two lawmakers.

Kerry and Lofgren, backed by dozens of colleagues in the House and Senate, had urged restraint in deportation proceedings involving married same-sex couples and asked that any green card application proceedings be put on hold pending legal resolution or legislative repeal of DOMA.

Lavi Soloway, an LGBT immigration attorney and cofounder of Stop the Deportations, said the ICE memo "offers abundant discretion for Immigration and Customs Enforcement attorneys handling deportation matters to consider the circumstances of lesbian and gay binational couples. There are at least three provisions that will prove to be very important for LGBT deportation cases: consideration of the person's ties to the country of origin and conditions there; consideration of the person's ties to the community, including family relationships; and consideration of whether the person has a spouse, parent or child who is a U.S. citizen or green card holder."

"Stop the Deportations will urge that these guidelines be applied fairly and compassionately to the spouses of lesbian and gay Americans facing deportation," Soloway said.

Until I am able to sponsor my wife for immigration, until I am able to live in the United States with the love of my life without the fear of our family being torn apart, until all Americans can have the rights that heterosexual people have, we do not have "Liberty and Justice for All".

We will continue our fight for Equality. We will continue......

It is Against My Religion

Do people even REALLY know why they oppose Same Sex Marriage? Do they oppose it because it's what everyone is saying? Is it POLITICS? People's lives are hanging in the balance as they wait to be able to sponsor their foreign born spouse. We cannot afford for this to be about POLITICS. Is it because they think it is against God? To quote your Mom, "If all of your friends jumped off of a cliff...." To illustrate this point read the following true story:

Today at work, I was having lunch with some of my friends and it happened that the subject turned to same sex marriage. A Registered Nurse said, "I just don't believe in it, it's against my religion..."

I said to her, "what religion are you?" She replied, "I don't have any religion"

She then started swearing about her cold lunch. I wanted to say to her that her language was against my religion, but I didn't want to "go there". I did say to her, "How can it be against your religion if you don't have one?"

I then asked her what would she do if her son was gay. She said, "I would have to hit him in the head with a brick...I don't know what I would do..."

I am a Christian, I am a Lesbian. For those who do not understand how I can be both, I encourage you to please read my entire blog. It tells you of my faith, my research, my struggle and finally the peace that passes all understanding

I did a lot of soul searching. My blog entry The Bible Says, Homosexuality is a two month long deep research into the history of when these verses were written. I went to the original language. I studied what each nuance of the words meant. I looked at liberal interpretations. I looked at conservative interpretations. I studied secular history of the time. That blog entry is my research. I believe that it is unbiased and detailed study as to what the Bible says about Same Sex love.

The other day my sister's best friend made the following statement, and I quote. "Since I am not a Greek,Hebrew etc scholar I don't know and have trust my teachers who are wiser and more educated than I. I can't believe it at this time but I will be more than happy if I get to heaven and learn that you are right!"

This woman would blindly follow her Pastor when people's lives hang in the balance. While people are not being allowed the same rights as other people, these folks are content to listen. They are content to follow the status quo. I wonder if it were something that directly influenced their lives if they would be so passive? I wonder what kind of research they would do?

While people are content to believe their religion blindly, couples are separated due to DOMA. I urge you to read the book The Children Are Free. Do your own research on this most important subject that people are waging war on both sides of the issue.

I mean who really cares who is kissing who. Who really cares about who is marrying who. Can love be wrong? God is love. So since God is love, shouldn't we be for people who just want to be allowed to love and marry the person that they choose? There are so many other horrible things to be against, but love should not be one of them

Condoning and Promoting Bullying of the LGBT Youth

 

 

Condoning the Bullying

Promoting the Deaths

 

 

Is the US Government one of the causes of the increase in deaths of the LBGT Youth?  Well, as Martin Luther King Jr. said, “In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.”

While we are doing our best to let our LBGT youth know that “It Gets Better”,  The State of Tennessee is passing the “Don’t say Gay” Law.  The law that states that in the Tennessee schools a person cannot mention that the words lesbian or homosexual or gay or any other word that has to do with non-heterosexual orientation.  This promotes shame, hurt, and insecurities.  It also is a way for teens to harass other teens.  What in the world are they thinking?

The United States Congress has had several bills placed before them that would give the Lesbians and Gays some rights. The Uniting American Families Act, the Respect for Marriage Act, and the Reuniting Families Act have all been introduced. They have been refereed to the Judiciary Committee where they have not been brought for a vote. To the General Public this is a sign that Homosexuals do not deserve the consideration of the Government. Shameful that Congress has not gotten the chance to vote on these bills. I believe that this is a sign our children that Lesbian and Gay Youth do not deserve to be protected. They are different and deserve judgement, ridicule and even death.

To the Lesbian and Gay Youth it is a sign that they are nothing in the eyes of our government. They are nothing and their death is a favor to society. I am not exaggerating. I was a bullied youth and I know these feelings.

 

In the State of Texas, a person can refuse to wait on, to serve homosexuals.  Apparently, that is just one of several states who allow that type of discrimination.  I am appalled and shocked that in these United States would allow such hatred, but then I remember not that long ago, that the “conservative Christians” were and some still are against interracial marriage.  That the person of color could be arrested for kissing a white person was not an unusual occurrence.  As a matter of fact, that person could be put to death without the Authorities even wanting to step in.  The movie “Holes” starring Shia LaBeouf has a story woven within it about this prejudice. 

It is apparent that we have learned nothing from our past.  The conservative Christians (something I considered myself to be until not that long ago) (I am still Christian just not all that conservative) refuse to allow for differences.  God Almighty has never condemned a loving same sex relationship, but because of a few verses taken out of context, we have put people to death. 

How can so many people be so wrong about their interpretation of what the Bible really says about Homosexuality?  I asked a missionary friend of mine to understand the history, the language, the context of the verses used to condemn homosexuals and here is what he said:  “I do not need know all of that, the Bible says straight forward etc… etc… etc…”  That is the problem.  As an example I would like to use the Ford Truck commercial with Mike Rowe.  The man who tests drives the truck makes the statement, “this truck is sick”.  Do we really think that Ford would air a commercial where someone says that their truck is horrible? No, we have to take the context of the statement and the language of the day.  He means that the truck is fabulous.  So to those Christians who refuse to do as I suggested by looking at the context, history, and language of the day, they have misinformed several generations of people.  Please feel free to read and challenge my personal research on what the Bible really says about homosexuality before you come to judgment.

 

The Bible Says -- Homosexuality

Ruth and Naomi

 

 

 

DENIED: US Citizens Denied the Right to Sponsor Spouses for Immigration

One would think that a person who is legally married to a person who is foreign born would be able to sponsor them for immigration. This is not the case of same sex couples in the United States. Five states and the District of Columbia allow same sex couples to marry. It is absolutely a horrible nightmare that even though same sex couples have married in these states, it is not recognized by the Federal Government under the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA).It is because of this, these marriages, these families can be ripped apart legally by the US Federal Government. (ICE)

We really need to get the Uniting American Families Act (UAFA) passed and the Respect for Marriage Act (RFMA) (which repeals DOMA) passed.

What is the opposition? I am not sure. All of the people that are against repealing DOMA and are against the UAFA say that it is immoral. I would like to point out that the Bible says that ALL have sinned. If you discriminate against same sex couples, you must also discriminate against those who take the name of the Lord in vain. To just say that homosexuality is an abomination is simply not Biblical. The Bible lists seven sins that are an abomination. Why isn't Congress up in arms against these abominations? Probably because they are guilty of committing them. Number one being a proud look. The next one is a lying tongue. Let's deport everyone who is guilty of being proud or has ever told a lie. Ridiculous you say. I agree. To hold anyone to the perfect standards of the Bible is ridiculous...whether it be lying, adultery, murder, or being too proud of oneself, it is all an abomination in the eyes of God.

As a student of the Bible, I would also like to point out that whenever same sex relationships are mentioned in the Bible the context is Always idol worship. The Almighty God never condemns a monogamous same sex relationship in the Bible....

As a reference to this argument, please see the previous blog entries:

The Bible Says - Homosexuality

Can You Justify Discrimination Because of Sin

I hope that you will read all of this information with an open mind and heart and know that it is the right thing to repeal DOMA and to pass the Uniting American Families Act

It seems that there is no urgency to get these Bills out of their Judiciary Committees and to the floor to be brought for a vote. Lamar Smith in the House has not returned any of my correspondences regarding bringing the United American Families Act up for a vote. I would like to say that if Congress were separated from their families; their spouses with no permanent solution, there would be more urgency. As a matter of fact, I don't believe we would have to wait at all for these bills to be made law if it were them. We are a minority of a minority, but we are American Citizens and we should have the right to live with our spouses and sponsor them for immigration.

How to Bypass Hospital Homophobia/Discrimination

DISCLAIMER: The following is not meant to be legal advice. It is only some friendly suggestions for those of us who live in the United States.

I am a lesbian. I also am a health care professional. I have been reading horrible stories of people not being able to be at their loved one's bedside while they are in the hospital. Even more horrific than that, not being notified of the death of their partner, not being able to hold their hand as they were lying there dying. I would like to offer the following advice for those of you who are in same sex relationships and fear this kind of prejudice at a hospital.

1. Become your partner's "Medical Power of Attorney". All that it says is that if your partner becomes too ill to make their own decisions, you have the right to make their decisions for them. Go through an attorney to get this done professionally and legally and make plenty of copies. Each and every time one of you gets put in the hospital, make sure that you give them a copy. Make sure each and every RN knows that you are indeed the "POA".

They will be legally obligated to allow you at your partner's bedside.

2. Do not make your relationship a secret. Kindly and respectfully ask your primary Doctor and the RN who is taking care of you or your loved one if they have a problem with your relationship. If they say yes, ask if you can get a different health care professional to take care of you. This is your right.

3. It is important that the two of you be included in any major decisions. I don't mean blood draws or a CT scan. I do mean surgery or surgical procedures. Make sure that the patient makes that absolutely clear to the Doctor and the Nursing Staff...especially the Nursing Staff.

4. If it is an emergent medical procedure, ex: a procedure to help the patient breathe easier like a thorencentesis. Let the RN know that you want your partner notified immediately that this procedure is going to take place. They will follow your lead. If you want your partner included, they will tend to include them.

5. If you have any sort of issue whatsoever, ask to speak to the House Supervisor. If you do not get satisfaction, ask to speak to the Patient Advocate. You are the patient and you deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. Your wishes need to be respected.

6. Do not approach the health care professionals with a "chip" on your shoulder. Don't be on the defensive, we are doing nothing wrong.

EX: I was taking care of a patient. I walked in and she and her wife were holding hands. She immediately let go of her hand and said, "We don't want to freak you out, everyone at this Catholic hospital is homophobic..." I replied with a smile, "Uh nope not everyone...." I later suggested that they not let go of holding hands and told them that I, too, am a lesbian. She apologized for being rather gruff with me. She said, "I just feel that I have to hid my relationship..." I cannot stress enough, let your relationship be known.

To summarize: Become your partner's Medical Power of Attorney. Don't make your relationship a secret. Show respect for the medical staff and don't be on the defensive. If you have any problems, report it to the Nursing Supervisor or the Patient Advocate. You deserve to be treated with respect also.

Feel free to ask any questions and I will do my best to answer them.

DOMA Immigration Cases Create Balancing Act For Administration

by Carlos Maza

Controversy is brewing yet again over the Defense of Marriage Act’s (DOMA) impact on bi-national same-sex couples. Debate over the deportation of gay foreign nationals was reignited last week after Attorney General Eric Holder issued a decision vacating an earlier decision by the Board of Immigration Appeals (BIA) to apply Section 3 of DOMA to the case of a gay foreign national who had entered into a civil union with an American citizen:

The brief, two-paragraph decision directs that the Bureau of Immigration Appeals (BIA) to revisit the case involving Paul Wilson Dorman to determine whether, “absent the requirements of DOMA,” Dorman’s same-sex partnership or civil union would qualify him to be considered a “spouse” under the Immigration and Nationality Act.

The announcement prompted a U.S. immigration judge on Friday to halt the deportation proceedings of Henry Velandia, a Venezuelan national whose green card petition was denied earlier this year despite his legal marriage to his husband, Josh Vandiver, who is an American citizen.

Holder’s decision has been heralded by some as a sign that the administration is looking for ways to avoid continuing to deport gay and lesbian foreign nationals who are legally married to (or have entered into civil unions with) American citizens. Lavi Soloway, co-founder of Immigration Equality, told Metro Weekly:

This development could be a sign that the Obama administration is looking for a way to protect gay and lesbian bi-national couples who are currently barred from the regular marriage-based immigration process by the Defense of Marriage Act.

The Justice Department’s handling of bi-national immigration cases has generated significant criticism from right-wingers who have accused the administration of refusing to enforce the law since late February. The Justice Department, however, has been quick to clarify that it will continue to enforce DOMA, despite Holder’s decision. As The New York Times reported:

Tracy Schmaler, a spokeswoman for Mr. Holder, said he had interceded in Mr. Dorman’s case only because he wanted the immigration appeals court to decide issues he felt had been overlooked. “As we have made clear, we will continue to enforce DOMA,” Ms. Schmaler said.

As Soloway has pointed out, however, it’s possible for the president to exert his executive discretion to halt deportation proceedings without abandoning DOMA’s enforcement:

While DOMA is still the law of the land and must be enforced, it cannot be an excuse for failing to institute administrative remedies such as ''abeyance'' to put a halt to deportations, separations and exile of lesbian and gay bi-national couples. This administration has a duty to ensure that our families are not torn apart because of an unconstitutional law that it refuses to defend.

The Obama administration has the power to make this happen and must act now.

If the Obama administration really is afraid of looking like it isn’t enforcing DOMA, maybe it’s time for a major priority shift. It’s a waste of time to worry about the concerns of anti-gay activists who are looking for any excuse to bash the administration’s handling of DOMA, as evidenced by those who are already accusing Holder of lying about the law’s continued enforcement.

At some point, the administration should come to accept that preserving the marriages of committed, loving gay and lesbian bi-national couples is more important than trying to appease an increasingly unreasonable and shrinking group of anti-gay conservatives.