Hello friends, It has been quite awhile since I have posted to this blog...I think I got very discouraged with how things were going. It seemed that those who wish to not allow love were winning. Now here it is July 2013 and my wife and I have an intake interview with our immigration attorney. Poor attorney, we have been a bit ...uh ... impatient. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers...and give us the right words and our attorneys wisdom as we start this process. I hope that in a short time, my wife will be sporting her green card. There will be much celebration...and then...when it happens...her citizenship .... we will be having a party... a red white and blue one to be exact. We have never been so close...indeed, we feel so blessed.
I have also been dealing with a separate issue in healing. One that I addressed earlier when some imbecile compared same sex marriage to incest in my blog post: An Open Letter To Those Who Compare Homosexuality to Incest Doing much healing work regarding this and I hope you will also keep me in your thoughts and prayers.
All of this has served to make me so thankful for all that I have been given and for all I have. My life...I am so blessed.
Showing posts with label Defense of Marriage Act. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Defense of Marriage Act. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Just Not Feeling "It" Lately
It has been quite awhile since I last wrote something for this blog. I think it is because I am a tad bit discouraged. While it is true that a lot of steps have been made in the right direction for marriage equality, very little has been done to help with same sex bi-national couples.
The last two months I have seen two couples who I personally know have to separate. The whole thing is so indescribable and painful. Having to say good bye to your spouse, the person that you desire to spend the rest of your life with is literally "bring you to your knees" painful.
While people in Washington D.C. are busy worrying about how decisions they make will advance their political career the two ladies pictured had to say good bye to each other just this week. While Congress ignores immigration reform, lives are being torn apart and children are growing up without their Mothers.
One of the most heartbreaking things is that some of my friends who are bi-national same sex couples do not even know when they will see each other again. These are people who are legally married (at least in six states) but, because of the so called Defense of Marriage Act or DOMA, they cannot sponsor their spouses for immigration. DOMA is tearing apart families.
I cannot understand how people think that by allowing bi-national same sex couples to be able to sponsor their spouse or permanent partner, that it would do anything other than enhance our society.
I have heard all and I do mean all of the arguments for this evil, horrible, offensive and hateful law, and none of them make any sense to me. Traditional family, traditional marriage, child bearing, abomination, nuclear family, natural order, etc... what does any of that have to do with allowing people who are in love to be together.
Everyone has different traditions. People often say, let's make our own traditions. Traditions change over the years. Very few, if any, traditions are EXACTLY the same as what they were started out to be.
We are not going to stop people from having children. Saying that a couple must be able to have children the "traditional way" to be married is a bit presumptuous. Anyone with a brain in their head would not even use this as an argument because of elderly couples, infertile couples, and cancer survivor couples (not to mention same sex couples).
An abomination before God. When did the USA get so concerned over abominations before God. This is not even to mention that no where in the Bible does God condemn a monogamous and loving same sex relationship. Back to my point of when did Congress and folks in the USA get so concerned over abominations. Lying is an abomination, I haven't seen anyone put that up on a billboard. As a matter of fact, in Proverbs 16:16-19, the Bible mentions seven things that are an abomination to God:
Have you ever had to say goodbye to someone you love? Have you ever had to say goodbye not knowing when you would see them again? Have you ever had to do that when it wasn't necessary except for a discriminatory law? I have had to do this. Thousands of couples have had to do this.
What can you do to help end this discrimination? You can send a simple e-mail (click here) to your elected members of Congress asking them to co-sponsor the Respect for Marriage Act (Click on it to read it). As important, or maybe for bi-national couples more important is the Uniting American Families Act.
I personally tweet the House Judiciary Committee (they hold UAFA and Comprehensive Immigration Reform Act in their hands) at least once a week. Please do whatever you can, but please do something.
For more information:
Stop the Deportations: The DOMA Project
Torn Apart: United by Love, Divided by Law
Out4Immigration Blog
Immigration Equality Organization
One final thought.....I took this from a friend's Facebook page. Although it may be simple for some, it is what most bi-national couples long for, dream about and hope...on a daily basis...just to be.....
While people in Washington D.C. are busy worrying about how decisions they make will advance their political career the two ladies pictured had to say good bye to each other just this week. While Congress ignores immigration reform, lives are being torn apart and children are growing up without their Mothers.
One of the most heartbreaking things is that some of my friends who are bi-national same sex couples do not even know when they will see each other again. These are people who are legally married (at least in six states) but, because of the so called Defense of Marriage Act or DOMA, they cannot sponsor their spouses for immigration. DOMA is tearing apart families.I cannot understand how people think that by allowing bi-national same sex couples to be able to sponsor their spouse or permanent partner, that it would do anything other than enhance our society.
I have heard all and I do mean all of the arguments for this evil, horrible, offensive and hateful law, and none of them make any sense to me. Traditional family, traditional marriage, child bearing, abomination, nuclear family, natural order, etc... what does any of that have to do with allowing people who are in love to be together.
Everyone has different traditions. People often say, let's make our own traditions. Traditions change over the years. Very few, if any, traditions are EXACTLY the same as what they were started out to be.
We are not going to stop people from having children. Saying that a couple must be able to have children the "traditional way" to be married is a bit presumptuous. Anyone with a brain in their head would not even use this as an argument because of elderly couples, infertile couples, and cancer survivor couples (not to mention same sex couples).
An abomination before God. When did the USA get so concerned over abominations before God. This is not even to mention that no where in the Bible does God condemn a monogamous and loving same sex relationship. Back to my point of when did Congress and folks in the USA get so concerned over abominations. Lying is an abomination, I haven't seen anyone put that up on a billboard. As a matter of fact, in Proverbs 16:16-19, the Bible mentions seven things that are an abomination to God:
If they are going to go by what they think the Bible says Congress had better work together because "one that spreads strife among the brothers" is pretty much a definition of the GOP today.16 There are six things which the LORD hates, Yes, seven which are an abomination to Him: 17 Haughty eyes, a lying tongue, And hands that shed innocent blood, 18 A heart that devises wicked plans, Feet that run rapidly to evil, 19 A false witness who utters lies, And one who spreads strife among brothers.
Have you ever had to say goodbye to someone you love? Have you ever had to say goodbye not knowing when you would see them again? Have you ever had to do that when it wasn't necessary except for a discriminatory law? I have had to do this. Thousands of couples have had to do this.What can you do to help end this discrimination? You can send a simple e-mail (click here) to your elected members of Congress asking them to co-sponsor the Respect for Marriage Act (Click on it to read it). As important, or maybe for bi-national couples more important is the Uniting American Families Act.
I personally tweet the House Judiciary Committee (they hold UAFA and Comprehensive Immigration Reform Act in their hands) at least once a week. Please do whatever you can, but please do something.
For more information:
Stop the Deportations: The DOMA Project
Torn Apart: United by Love, Divided by Law
Out4Immigration Blog
Immigration Equality Organization
One final thought.....I took this from a friend's Facebook page. Although it may be simple for some, it is what most bi-national couples long for, dream about and hope...on a daily basis...just to be.....
Thursday, December 1, 2011
The Holidays for Bi-National Same Sex Couples
As the holidays draw close, most people's thoughts turn to spending time with their loved ones, Christmas shopping and presents, large meals and family time. For the 40,000 plus bi-national same sex couples, (estimated from the 2010 US Census) the holidays often take on a different meaning: Lonely separation.
My lovely friend in Colorado will celebrate Christmas with her wife via Skype. Her wife is British and lives in the UK. In spite of her wife's extensive education, there is no "line" at the immigration office for this bi-national couple to get into.
My very dear friend lives in California, her wife, her legal wife (married in Canada and in California) will be in England due to the United States immigration discriminatory laws. These two ladies pose no threat to anyone, as a matter of fact, the Californian is a Military Veteran. In spite of serving her country, her country refuses to acknowledge her marriage to her lovely wife from the United Kingdom. They, too, will spend Christmas apart....touching their computer screens instead of holding each other.
For a bi-national couple living exiled in New Zealand, you would think that life is perfect for them, after all, they are together legally. Here is the two of them singing together a song that the Hoosier wrote for her New Zealand wife. The Hoosier longs to "sit on the porch and have a beer with her dad in Indiana"
These are just a few of my bi-national friends. I could go on and on about friends living in exile in Canada and two other couples moving to Canada before the end of the winter season, but I won't. I won't tell you of a lovely New York couple.....as one of them is from New York the other from Italy... they struggle with issues that heterosexual couples would never even think about. If they marry, will that cause problems with Homeland Security? Will the New Yorker's lovely wife be "red flagged" by Homeland Security because of their marriage...even though it is legal in New York?
Think about us, think about the bi-national couples as you celebrate the holidays with your loved ones. As you hug your sweetheart, know that others are just touching a computer screen. As you snuggle with your children, know that bi-national couples are scared and worrying that their children will be torn from their non-US citizen parent.
There are some that live in the United States illegally, in civil disobedience, seeing this as the only option to be together. Exile is not an option for some of these couples. Moving to their partner's country is not an option in some of these cases.
Author, Judy Rickard, in a bi-national relationship herself, has written a book called
A repeal of DOMA needs to take place. The passing of the Uniting American Families Act, needs to take place. We are human beings. We have families. We have fallen in love with a person who is not a US Citizen. We need to be allowed to be with our spouses...we need to be allowed to pursue our happiness.
Other Resources:
Out4Immigration
Stop the Deportations: The DOMA Project
Immigration Equality
Lavi Soloway: Attorney
My lovely friend in Colorado will celebrate Christmas with her wife via Skype. Her wife is British and lives in the UK. In spite of her wife's extensive education, there is no "line" at the immigration office for this bi-national couple to get into.
My very dear friend lives in California, her wife, her legal wife (married in Canada and in California) will be in England due to the United States immigration discriminatory laws. These two ladies pose no threat to anyone, as a matter of fact, the Californian is a Military Veteran. In spite of serving her country, her country refuses to acknowledge her marriage to her lovely wife from the United Kingdom. They, too, will spend Christmas apart....touching their computer screens instead of holding each other.
I have a friend on twitter who is struggling on telling her son (age 2) and daughter (age 6), that their "other" Mom's visa may not be renewed. Another family separated by the so called Defense of Marriage Act and immigration discrimination. Will they be able to watch their children open their presents....together as a family?
Things that heterosexuals take for granted, spending holiday's with the family, watching the kids open presents, sitting around the dinner table, are things that bi-national same sex couples pray to be a reality soon.
For a bi-national couple living exiled in New Zealand, you would think that life is perfect for them, after all, they are together legally. Here is the two of them singing together a song that the Hoosier wrote for her New Zealand wife. The Hoosier longs to "sit on the porch and have a beer with her dad in Indiana"
These are just a few of my bi-national friends. I could go on and on about friends living in exile in Canada and two other couples moving to Canada before the end of the winter season, but I won't. I won't tell you of a lovely New York couple.....as one of them is from New York the other from Italy... they struggle with issues that heterosexual couples would never even think about. If they marry, will that cause problems with Homeland Security? Will the New Yorker's lovely wife be "red flagged" by Homeland Security because of their marriage...even though it is legal in New York?
Think about us, think about the bi-national couples as you celebrate the holidays with your loved ones. As you hug your sweetheart, know that others are just touching a computer screen. As you snuggle with your children, know that bi-national couples are scared and worrying that their children will be torn from their non-US citizen parent.
There are some that live in the United States illegally, in civil disobedience, seeing this as the only option to be together. Exile is not an option for some of these couples. Moving to their partner's country is not an option in some of these cases.
Author, Judy Rickard, in a bi-national relationship herself, has written a book calledA repeal of DOMA needs to take place. The passing of the Uniting American Families Act, needs to take place. We are human beings. We have families. We have fallen in love with a person who is not a US Citizen. We need to be allowed to be with our spouses...we need to be allowed to pursue our happiness.
Other Resources:
Out4Immigration
Stop the Deportations: The DOMA Project
Immigration Equality
Lavi Soloway: Attorney
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
American Family Association Sends an Email Full of Lies
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Thursday, September 29, 2011
Repeal DOMA /Separation of Church and State
What are the reasons to keep the Defense of Marriage (DOMA) on the books? Wait, the reasons that do not break the rule of separation of Church and State are the ones in which we are interested.
1. Traditional Marriage - Marriage has always been defined as between a man and a woman.There are records from the 1st century church indicating that the church did indeed marry same sex couples.In an article written by Father James Duffy, he writes and has evidence that same sex marriages took place throughout history.
Read the whole article in the The Gay Christian
As churches struggle with the issue of homosexuality, a long tradition of same sex marriage indicates that the Christian attitude toward same sex unions may not always have been as "straight" as is now suggested. A Kiev art museum contains a curious icon from St. Catherine's monastery on Mt. Sinai. It shows two robed Christian saints. Between them is a traditional Roman pronubus (best man) overseeing what in a standard Roman icon would be the wedding of a husband and wife. In the icon, Christ is the pronubus. Only one thing is unusual. The husband and wife are in fact two men.The following research by Yale Law School Yale Law School Legal Scholarship Repository
A History of Same Sex Marriage
William N. Eskridge Jr.
Yale Law School
Makes the following observation regarding the problems with the "Traditional Marriage" (has always been between a man and a woman) arguement:
The early Egyptian and Mesopotamian societies that are considered important antecedents for Western culture apparently not only tolerated same-sex relationships, but also recognized such relationships in their culture, literature, and mythology. Evidence of same-sex marriage is at best indirect in these ancient societies, however. One finds slightly stronger and more direct evidence of same-sex marriages in Greek and early Roman culture, in imperial Rome, and in Western Europe for much of the Christian Middle Ages.Read the entire research article here.
2.
As far as I know, there is no #2.
Traditional marriage is their only argument that does not break the Church's rule of "Separation of Church and State". Although, it has been proven that today's marriage is not necessarily all that traditional; it is good, right, and admirable to break with traditions when they are oppressive to a people.
An example of a tradition that was good and right when changed is slavery. Another example is women voting.
As Americans we pride ourselves in equality, yet, a whole group of people are being told that they do not deserve any rights. They are being told that they are second class citizens.
The Daily Kos has a wonderful article on Why was DOMA enacted?
They enacted DOMA specifically to confer a higher status on heterosexual people, so that more children would grow up to realize they should be heterosexual. This has of course led to higher incidents of suicide and depression among gay people, and outright rejection in some cases even by a gay person's friends or family, all to reach the ends of "promoting heterosexuality."This is one of the biggest reasons it's time to repeal DOMA: sexual orientation is understood as a real distinction by law and by psychologists. Back when, for example, the military's gay ban was implemented, the idea was to stop a perceived aberrant sexual behavior. Society and science's views on homosexuality have changed - it's no longer a behavior but an orientation. It can't be changed and so-called "conversion therapy" has been rejected by scientists and psychologists. It made no sense to keep the gay ban going.
And it makes no sense to keep DOMA. Simply put, the goal of promoting heterosexuality is not served by laws like DADT or DOMA. The government can't promote heterosexuality even if it wanted to. At this point, it's only creating a second-class status for a group of people it can't change.
It is time to get this discriminatory law REPEALED!
Thursday, September 15, 2011
How Many Times Does "DOMA" Need To Be Declared Unconstitutional?
Obama, Holder Call 1996 Defense of Marriage Act Unconstitutional
Lambda Legal Decries DOMA Defenders' Refusal to Allow Taping of Court Hearing "It is outrageous that the leadership of the U.S. House of Representatives wants to shroud in secrecy their use of tax dollars to try to defend discrimination."Gallup Poll Reports
Defense of Marriage Act called unconstitutional by bankruptcy judge
Christian Attorney says, "DOMA is Unconstitutional"
Wikipedia Defense of Marriage Act
Federal Judge Rules Defense of Marriage Act Unconstitutional. Will It Stick?
Google Search: Defense of Marriage Act Declared Unconstitutional
The Speaker of the House, Mr. John Boehner is using funds that are ill gotten without permission (this has been swept under the rug) to try to defend DOMA.
The Huffington Post Reports
DOMA Defense: Lawmakers Puzzled Where House GOP Is Getting The Money To Pay Paul Clement
The Christian Post, while defending Boehner, still wonders from where the money is coming..
Boehner Hires Lawyer to Defend DOMA, Demands DOJ Pick Up the Tab
Above the Law Also reports:
Paul Clement and King & Spalding Defend DOMA — at a Discount
In addition to all of this mind blowing hypocrisy, those defending the so called Defense of Marriage Act, are refusing to have the trial video taped. Many people are asking "why?"
If they really think their cause is just, shouldn't it be brought to light. Shouldn't they be screaming it from the roof tops...oh wait that is right...the majority of Americans support same sex marriage
It would seem that so much is going on in favor of same sex couples, yet, we have no Federal recognition. Most of the States deny any sort of recognition and many of them seek to write this horrible discrimination into their own Constitutions. When will people realize that the separation of Church and State is supposed to go on always, NOT JUST WHEN IT BENEFITS THE CHURCH.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
It's Not Like DOMA is Hurting Anyone
REALLY???
Quote from a bi-national couple:Still think DOMA is not hurting anyone? Think again. Tonight when you lie down next to your spouse, know that there are those of us who because of USA law cannot. When you hug your children, know that because of DOMA hundreds of kids will not feel their Mom or Dad's hug. Because of DOMA people have to sing their children to sleep via SKYPE."The agony of enforced separation gets harder every time. Didn't think it could get any more painful but it does. Our hearts are broken once again by DOMA."Quote from a Lesbian:"Love is not a crime People should not have to hide their feelings or pretend to be someone they aren’t just to conform to societies views of normal. Love Definition: Noun: An intense feeling of deep affection. Verb: Feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment to (someone) It shouldn’t matter if that someone is black or white, a woman or man, gay or straight. Love is a beautiful thing.Quote by a bi-national couple:"It is not possible to kiss while crying? It is if you are a bi-national same sex couple."Quote by a binational couple:
"The only reason they can separate me from my husband, is because of DOMA".Quote from a binational couple:"Living our lives from visit to visit. We have been legally married for five years and have never lived more than three months in a row under the same roof together. DOMA keeps us apart. Until the laws of our land accept us with equal treatment, this is our life. 3 months in California, 3 months in the UK. It’s hard. It’s challenging. But it’s more than we’ve ever had before."Quote from a binational couple:
I have no regrets at all. (of being in a binational relationship) She is the best thing that's ever happened, she is the reason why I get up every morning and strive to be a better person. She is the reason why I won't stop fighting and trying to find ways to put this family back together. I hate that I have a kid that's growing up with a part time parent, I hate that my wife doesn't have me there supporting her with our girl when she's hitting such a difficult age. Imagine being 10 years old and already having an understanding of gay rights, immigration and proposals like the UAFA. Don't get me wrong I think that it's great for kids to be politically aware, but this isn't the way in which they should learn.Quote from a binational couple:Quote from binational couple:Please pass the Uniting American Families Act, we have suffered so much already."
HOW on earth does that adversely affect our society? It’s been months since I last saw my partner. I have cleaned out my savings, having to use it for travel and phone bills. This imposed separation is harmful physically, mentally, emotionally, fiscally and familialy. No one would be harmed by granting people equal (not special) rights to sponsor their partners in fact we would all become healthier and more productive members of society instead of legislative outcasts. Pushed to abandon the country we call home, when our partners are willing to give up their lives and homes to start new here. Please realize that these are REAL people, and they are being HARMED by this situation. I am being harmed by this situation. Please put yourself in our situation and think how it would feel that some stranger has the power to change your world for good or ill.
It is hurting someone. It is hurting US citizens who have fallen in love with someone who is not an American Citizen.
Now I have heard all the reasons to keep DOMA and not pass the Uniting American Families Act, but they all are based on a thological thoughts...and the thoughts that because I am in love with someone who is of my same sex, I am non deserving of the right to be married in my country. I have had members of Congress tell me the following:
1. Move out of the USA
2. Your family is not a nuclear family
3. Marriage is between one man and one woman
All of these reasons...make no sense to my heart....to the people I have quoted.... it makes no sense to them either. We don't want to rip apart your fundamental beliefs, but we do want to be able to be with our love. Your fundamental beliefs should be that "all are created equal...". They should be that ALL Americans deserve EQUAL treatment under the law. After all....isn't that the principles that our forefathers founded this country?
Friday, August 26, 2011
Not In Indiana
The State of Indiana has on it's books a law regarding Same Sex Marriage. It states the following:Gay Chicago News Reports the Following
IC 31-11-1-1 Same sex marriages prohibitedSec. 1. (a) Only a female may marry a male. Only a male may marry a female.
(b) A marriage between persons of the same gender is void in Indiana even if the marriage is lawful in the place where it is solemnized.
What section b there means to me is that even though my wife and I were married in Iowa, the State of Indiana will not recognize it.
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A lawsuit filed on behalf of a lesbian couple, one of whom was killed in the Aug. 13 stage collapse at the Indiana State Fair, is challenging Indiana law for not recognizing the rights of gay and lesbian couples who are married. Valparaiso attorney Kenneth Allen filed the lawsuit Aug. 19 in LaPorte County, Ind., Circuit Court on behalf of Tammy VanDam, who was killed in the stage collapse, and her partner, Beth Urschel, who was injured in the accident. VanDam and Urschel made their home in Wanatah, Ind. The lawsuit seeks $60 million in damages based on claims that the stage was improperly constructed and that fair officials and promoters were negligent by failing to heed warnings of the impending storm and high winds that brought down the massive structure. Seven people were killed in the collapse, including lesbian activist and health educator Christina Santiago of Chicago, and dozens more were injured. In addition to the claims of negligence, though, the lawsuit filed by Allen alleges that Urschel was unable to recover VanDam’s body from the coroner’s office in Indianapolis, who told her they could only release VanDam’s body to legally recognized next of kin. Urschel and VanDam were married a decade ago in Hawaii but Indiana doesn’t recognize the marriages of same-sex couples. “Here the only difference is we had two women who were married, as opposed to a man and a woman,” Allen said Aug. 22. “We believe that they are entitled to the same treatment under the Constitution.” Allen said he’s eager to take up the issue in court in Indiana, where legislators are trying to pass an amendment to the state constitution that would ban recognition of same-sex marriages, civil unions and domestic partnerships. There’s already a law on the books in the state that bans recognition of same-sex marriages. “I’m convinced first of all that it’s obviously unjust, unfair and inequitable,” Allen said. “But I’m also convinced that the Indiana Legislature is never going to do anything about it and unless we address it through the courts, this inequity isn’t going to change. …I guarantee that however long it takes to win this case, it will happen much faster than waiting for the Indiana Legislature to address it.” |
Sadly absent from any local Indianapolis news (although I sent them the information), I got more of the story from Huffington Post Chicago
"No doubt it's a challenge, but we're up to it," Allen told the Huffington Post. "The reality is we can't just stand idly by and accept this kind of inequity. People should be treated fairly and equitably. This is fundamentally wrong and unfair and I think it's important for us to try and rectify it."While unfair, such difficult situations are not uncommon for same-sex couples who encounter tragedy both while traveling out of the state where they live, or by simply living in a state where any out-of-state marriages, civil unions or domestic partnerships they might have are unrecognized.
Betty Tsamis, a Chicago attorney who has a long history of working closely with the LGBT community, described this fact as "the difficult and unfortunate reality for same-sex couples."
"The legal status of our relationships is a free-for-all whenever we leave the boundaries of the states that honor our relationships," Tsamis told the Huffington Post. "Just like states were allowed to deny recognition, at whim, to interracial marriages the current legal status quo has legalized this same form of discrimination on same-sex couples."
As I petition Congress both US and local to get the laws changed, I can only hope that this will help. In the mean time, please help to make change by signing the following petition.
Indiana State Medical Association “Marriage Equality and Public Health” Resolution
Monday, August 22, 2011
State Marriage Equality Does Not Help - Repeal DOMA Pass UAFA
Immigration is under Federal jurisdiction and therefore, the States passing Marriage Equality does not help with Same Sex bi-national couples being able to be together legally here the the United States.
What if you couldn't see your spouse? What if you went months or years without being able to hold your husband or wife? What if that decision was not yours, but your government? What if your future with your family was in the hands of a government? I am not talking about some backwards third world country, I am talking about the United States of America, where all are created equal...that is except for the second class Lesbian and Gay people. They apparently do not deserve the same rights as all American people...just ask Congress.
There are two bills that have been introduced into Congress again and again to help with this situation, yet, they have yet to be brought for a vote. This is because the GOP for whatever reason believes that if they ignore us, they will not have to deal with us. The two bills are the Uniting American Families Act and the Respect for Marriage Act.
Once again the 112th Congress (which has been called the "Do Nothing Congress) refuses to bring the UAFA and the RFMA up for votes.
Please sign the following to help repeal DOMA:
https://secure3.convio.net/hrc/site/Advocacy?cmd=display&page=UserAction&id=1070
The Senate actually did hold a hearing...the first in the long history of the bill:
ABC News’ Arlette Saenz (@arlettesaenz) reports:
The Senate held the first ever hearing on the Respect of Marriage Act, which would repeal the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act and extend to legally married same-sex couples the same benefits and protections provided to heterosexual married couples.
“I’m concerned that DOMA has served to create a tier of second-class families in states like Vermont. This runs counter to the values upon which America is founded, to the proud tradition we have in this country of moving toward a more inclusive society,” Senate Judiciary Committee Chmn. Patrick Leahy, D-Vt., said.
Testifying before the Senate Committee, Rep. John Lewis, D-Georgia, equated DOMA to racism and his personal experiences with discrimination.
“As a child, I tasted the bitter fruits of racism and discrimination, and I did not like it. And in 1996, when Congress passed the Defense of Marriage Act, the taste of that old bitter fruit filled my mouth once again,” Lewis said. “The Defense of Marriage Act is a stain on our democracy. We must do away with this unjust, discriminatory law once and for all. It reminds me of another dark time in our nation's history, in many years when states passed laws banning blacks and whites from marrying. We look back on that time now with disbelief. And one day we will look back on this period with that same sense of disbelief.”
But Republicans pounced on the Respect for Marriage Act and defended the constitutionality of DOMA.
“Traditional marriage is a sacred institution and serves as the cornerstone of our society. We cannot afford to devalue it with legislation like S. 598, and we must oppose any effort that would diminish the definition of marriage,” Rep. Steve King, R-Iowa, said. “The other side argues that you can't choose who you love and that a union between two men or two women is equal to that of one man and one woman. But these are the same arguments that could be used to promote marriage between fathers and daughters, mothers and sons, or even polygamist relationships.”
The Uniting American Families Act would add three words to immigration law "or Permanent Partner". For some reason, Congress feels that they should have the power to keep us from those that we love because it would put a strain on immigration. Our immigration system is so broken and our Congress is so "do nothing" that President Obama had to take steps to not deport the DREAMers or the partners of the Lesbians or Gay people.
Do they not see how cruel it is? Do they get such a power rush by waving their all powerful pens saying I cannot be with my wife. What if Someone had the right keep them from their spouses for as long as they keep DOMA as law...for as long as they refuse to pass the Uniting American Families Act.Maybe it would give them some sort of understanding as to what thousands of bi-national same sex couples are going through daily.
Pass the Uniting American Families Act, Repeal the Defense of Marriage Act Please
Thursday, August 4, 2011
The Evolution of "Traditional" Marriage
The idea of "Traditional Marriage" is a myth. At least the Traditional Marriage that people like Maggie Gallagher like to talk about has only come about since about 1968. So all the "hoopla" about this huge tradition, is really only slightly over 40 years old.
Did you know that a wife was not allowed to say her husband raped her? Even if they had been involved in "domestic disputes", even if the husband had put her in the hospital because he beat her, even if there was a restraining order against the husband, the wife could not say that her husband raped her?
You've come a long way, Congress. Now how about giving ALL Americans the right of "Traditional Marriage"
1. Adam and Eve2. Naomi and Ruth
3. David and Jonathan
4. Esther given by her Uncle in Marriage to the King
5. King Solomon and his 1000 women
6. St. Peter and his wife (yes, that is right the Apostle Peter The Catholic Churches first Pope) was married. Jesus healed Peter's Mother-in-law.
7. The Centurion and his male "Servant"
From where does the tradition of Marriage originate then? Well I "Googled" it several times and all I can come up with is that possibly it originated with the Greeks...the Greeks? However, when I took the word "traditional" out of the search, I was able to come up with a lot more results.
"So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them."
Genesis 1: 27
I don't dispute that God created male and female. I just dispute that fact that people are taking so much of the Scripture out of context for their own agendas.
Do your own real research. Come to your own conclusions.
But don't use terms like "TRADITIONAL" when you don't understand what you are honestly saying.
Stay tuned while I research "nuclear families"
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Binational Same Sex Couples: The Minority of a Minority
Why Passing the Uniting American Families Act
and Repealing DOMA is Urgent
The Census in the year 2000 said that binational same sex couples numbered approximately 36,000. In the 2010 Census, we have yet to receive a number, however rumor has it that it was not counted or divided to give an accurate number. With the onset of online dating, Skype, chat rooms, and other various ways our lives our touched by technology, I believe that number to be at least tripled. However, all in all, we are a small group of gays and lesbians who have fallen in love with someone who is not an American Citizen. If we were heterosexual, we could apply for a green card for our spouses and it would be immediately granted with little fanfare. Because the people with whom we have fallen in love are of the same sex, there is little to no options for our spouses to immigrate. Our options include the following:
1. Our foreign born spouse can get a job here in the United States. Unfortunately, it has to be a specialized job that no American citizen is able to do or wants to do.
2. College. Paying out of state fees. However, one can only afford that for so long and there are only so many degrees that a person can earn.
3. Be unusually talented. By that I mean a Celine Dion or a Sammy Sosa type talent.
Those are the legal options we have for immigration. If our spouses do not or cannot fall into any of these categories, our options are really limited:
1. Move to the spouses country if they are gay friendly.
2. Move to a third country if able
3. Live apart and on visits from time to time
4. Live in the United States as a non-person "under the wire"
While Marriage Equality is so very important and absolutely needs to get done, those who live with their partners can go home at night and be held by their spouse/partner. Bi-national same sex couples live visit to visit...often going a year or so before being able to hold their loved one. I am asking everyone to please take action to get the Uniting American Families Act brought up for some sort of vote. Right now, Lamar Smith, chairman of the Judiciary Committee in the House, has no intentions of bringing anything like it up for a vote. He needs to be contacted daily. We need to make the Uniting American Families Act something that Congress hears each and every day.
Tonight when you go to bed and you reach out and touch your loved one, know that thousands of bi-national gay and lesbian people are alone and not able to hold their loved one. We just want a chance to live our lives with the person with whom we love, to live and love and just be and be legal. Know that we are a small group, but we are part of a larger group and we are Americans asking for our right to live with our love. We ask for your help in getting the necessary legislation brought forward.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
New York Marriage Equality Bitter-Sweet for Bi-National Same Sex Couples
"Hey American ... Hey American Lady.... " A man with a very thick middle Eastern accent approached us. "Hey you are American? I will marry you for for $40,000" As my girlfriend (later to become my wife) and I walked along the streets of Amsterdam fourteen years ago, this offer shocked me and made me uncomfortable. I chuckled and said something about the guy being desperate. Today, sadly, I understand this man's desperation all too well.
Today, NEW YORK celebrated Marriage Equality. It was so very bittersweet. I looked at all the pictures and had tears in my eyes for happiness for these couples.
Congratulations from my heart to all of those who got married today and will marry in the future.Today, a friend of mine will leave her country in Europe and come for a short visit here in the United States. She will visit the love of her life. She will have to leave in three months and go back to her country of origin and leave her life partner....because there is no equality for us.
Even if every single state in the Union and Puerto Rico were to legalize Marriage Equality...to legalize Same Sex Marriage, it would not help bi-national same sex couples...not one little bit. Immigration is under Federal law and the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) is the law of the land. If we could get the Comprehensive Immigration Reform (CIR) passed or the Uniting American Families Act. (UAFA) Now that is something that would remedy the situation and give us the freedom to be able to hold our loved ones in our arms...just to be able to be with them...
In the last year, two of my friends who are in a bi-national relationship will have in the last year, only spent 14 days together. How is this justice?
Please read my friends stories. Their courage to share what they are going through and their strength inspire me.
I am My Beloved's and My Beloved is MineMarried and In Love, Yet Strangers by US Law
A lot of my bi-national friends are legally married, however because of DOMA and because of unjust immigration laws, it does not matter. Legally, we are not allowed to be together. Please, if immigration by some other way, along some other avenue were possible, all of these bi-national couples would have done it already.
Please celebrate Marriage Equality in New York and know our hearts rejoice with yours. Please understand that we still are apart from our husbands, wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, life partners and we have no legal avenue to get our spouses here. We need DOMA repealed and we need it done soon. We also need the Uniting American Families Act passed. We should have the right to sponsor our partners for immigration.
Monday, June 27, 2011
Congratulations NY, Now Immigration Equality
What a wonderful, exciting, and remarkable victory for equal rights for all. I am referring to the state of New York passing equal marriage rights for all. What a huge landmark decision for equality for all!
I so enjoyed reading all of the ecstatic tweets from those in New York as they celebrated Pride.
My favorite moments was when the GOP senators explained their votes. How they could not vote against equality for all Americans. I loved when they said that they could find no legal reason to vote no. I hate to say it, I loved when Senator Saland refused to yield the floor to the only Democrat dissident, Ruben Diaz. Diaz claimed that Senator Saland was “ashamed” of his yes vote after he [Saland] refused to yield to him. Diaz also later claimed his right to speak was being trampled upon when he was continually asked to “wrap it up” after going over the time he (and all the Senate members, regardless of political stance, mind you) was allotted to speak. After Diaz made quite a fool of himself, the Senate was brought back under control. Several passionate speeches by other members of the Senate were made in support of the bill, including Senator Tom Duane,
Senator Carl Kruger, and Senator Mark.
Congratulations New York!
What does this mean for bi-national same sex couples. Currently, it means nothing at all. We still cannot sponsor our spouses, our partners for immigration. We have had some steps in the right direction, but as long as we have not passed immigration reform (the Uniting American Families Act) or repealed the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), bi-national couples are still unable to legally live here in the United States permanently.
ICE Memo on Deportations Provides Guidance on Use of Prosecutorial Discretion Which Will Help Binational Couples
New Guidelines on Deportation Cases Could Apply to Gay Couples
Congratulations New York!
What does this mean for bi-national same sex couples. Currently, it means nothing at all. We still cannot sponsor our spouses, our partners for immigration. We have had some steps in the right direction, but as long as we have not passed immigration reform (the Uniting American Families Act) or repealed the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), bi-national couples are still unable to legally live here in the United States permanently.
ICE Memo on Deportations Provides Guidance on Use of Prosecutorial Discretion Which Will Help Binational Couples
Posted on Advocate.com June 20, 2011 05:15:00 PM ET
By Andrew Harmon
IMMIGRATION PROTEST NEW YORK ARIZONA X390 | ADVOCATE.COM
Immigration officials may be able to consider the circumstances of married binational same-sex couples when making decisions about deportation, although an immigration group in response has asked for further clarification of new federal guidelines.According to guidelines issued in a Friday memo by U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement director John Morton to field directors, agents, and attorneys, Morton listed 19 criteria that could be considered in deportation cases, including whether an individual has a U.S. citizen spouse, as well as “the person’s ties and contributions to the community” and whether the individual’s nationality “renders removal unlikely.”
Morton specified that the list “is not exhaustive.” In response, an LGBT immigration advocacy group has asked the agency to clarify whether terms like “spouse” and “family” in the memo include gay partners and spouses.
“While ICE has taken a significant step in recognizing that tearing families apart should not be a government priority, it must be explicit that lesbian and gay families are protected, too,” Immigration Equality executive director Rachel Tiven said in a statement today.
Following the Obama administration’s February announcement that it would no longer defend the Defense of Marriage Act in federal court cases, Tiven’s organization and other advocates have called on officials to exercise their discretion in immigration cases involving married gay binational couples because President Barack Obama has said the 1996 law, which prevents federal recognition of same-sex marriages, is unconstitutional.
In some recent, well-publicized cases, officials have perhaps indicated their willingness to exercise such discretion, though the administration has so far said it will not issue a blanket policy on the matter.
“Neither [the Department of Homeland Security] nor [the Department of Justice] has granted any form of relief to the entire category of cases affected by DOMA,” wrote DHS assistant secretary Nelson Peacock and Assistant Attorney General Ronald Reich in a May letter to Sen. John Kerry, D-Mass., and Rep. Zoe Lofgren, D-Calif., replying to correspondence this spring from the two lawmakers.
Kerry and Lofgren, backed by dozens of colleagues in the House and Senate, had urged restraint in deportation proceedings involving married same-sex couples and asked that any green card application proceedings be put on hold pending legal resolution or legislative repeal of DOMA.
Lavi Soloway, an LGBT immigration attorney and cofounder of Stop the Deportations, said the ICE memo "offers abundant discretion for Immigration and Customs Enforcement attorneys handling deportation matters to consider the circumstances of lesbian and gay binational couples. There are at least three provisions that will prove to be very important for LGBT deportation cases: consideration of the person's ties to the country of origin and conditions there; consideration of the person's ties to the community, including family relationships; and consideration of whether the person has a spouse, parent or child who is a U.S. citizen or green card holder."
"Stop the Deportations will urge that these guidelines be applied fairly and compassionately to the spouses of lesbian and gay Americans facing deportation," Soloway said.
Until I am able to sponsor my wife for immigration, until I am able to live in the United States with the love of my life without the fear of our family being torn apart, until all Americans can have the rights that heterosexual people have, we do not have "Liberty and Justice for All".
We will continue our fight for Equality. We will continue......
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Christian Attorney says, "DOMA is Unconstitutional"
While people may say that they believe in "traditional" marriage (meaning between one man and one woman), they still cannot deny that the "Defense of Marriage Act" is Unconstitutional. The American Family Association's in-house attorney says that while he and many members of his organization believe that marriage should be reserved only for heterosexual adults, the Defense of Marriage Act is "probably unconstitutional."
Here is my question: Exactly what is traditional marriage? They say that it is between one man and one woman. This is a fairly new "tradition". In the Old Testament King Solomon had 300 wives and 700 concubines. Basically, what they mean when they say "traditional marriage" is marriage by what we believe to be Christian standards. Indeed, it seems that the tradition they are speaking of is quite nontraditional.
So what are they fighting for??? A law that is unconstitutional and defends marriage that is nontraditional. Their reasons? They believe it is the Christian thing to do.Most of the "traditions" we associate with marriage are in fact comparatively new. It was only two centuries ago that people began to marry for love rather than for mercenary or practical considerations. Only 130 years ago did men start to lose their legal right to physically beat or imprison their wives. And only in the past 40 years have we established the principle that within a marriage wives and husbands have equal rights in decision-making.Not until 1979 did the last American state finally repeal its "Head and Master" law, which had given husbands the final say over many aspects of family life. Not until 1993 did marital rape become a crime in every state, overturning the millennia-old tradition that a wife was obligated to have sex with her husband whenever he demanded it.
'Traditional' marriage has changed a lot Seattle Post-Intelligencer, February 23, 2006
By Stephanie Coontz
Stephanie Coontz teaches history and family studies at The Evergreen State College and is the author of "Marriage, A History: How Love Conquered Marriage" (Viking Penguin).
I do not want to take away their Christianity. I am a Christian. All I want to be able to do is marry my same sex partner and have it respected and recognized by the government both State and Federal.
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