I love my family so so much and just want the opportunity to live a quiet and peaceful life with them, if my words are a lil messy; I apologize but am still suffering good ole jetlag. Inger has to be the most amazing person I have ever met, she has the kindest heart, shame that that heart is breaking and for no good reason. If one of these almighty people in power could give her a valid reason as to why her female partner (i.e. me) who has no criminal record, who is well educated, who works, and who is wanting to move to America, gain employment doing whatever kind of job it takes in order to support her family, is not only not allowed to be considered for the immigration process but also who gets her documents taken away and questioned when she visits. Ok so that’s enough of the third person perspective!
The current immigration system is turning us all into liars. If you are in a same sex relationship then you have to deny that at the border because you have no legal right to be in that relationship and are automatically an overstay risk. After 6 ½ months of not being in the country and having never overstayed a visa, I made another visit to see my wife and child. Homeland security took my documents and led me through to secondary questioning. After quite some time of answering their questions satisfactorily, they allowed me through border control. Being selected by Homeland security was probably more due to being a single female traveler of a certain age than our situation, but it is because of that very situation that we have the additional stress and heighted nerves. It’s not just a trip that would be ruined, but the chance to be with the ones we love. These trips are often the result of months of planning and saving and the effect would be devastating were one of us denied entry. The knowledge that we are but moments and meters away from each other and it could all be thrown away without a second thought is terrifying and yet what genuine choice to we have.
So here I sit alone but not alone. Inger is always with me, not a day goes by where she isn't the last thing on my mind when I go to sleep and the first thing on my mind when I wake. She has given me so much and has taught me how to love and be loved. She has enabled me to deal with emotions and feelings that I never knew how to process so they just used to eat me up. The person that I am becoming since she has been in my life is actually someone for the first time ever, that I can say I'm starting to like. I used to focus so heavily on the negative, now I try and see the positive in everything. For as bad as everyday life is without her, I still would take this over her not coming into my life at all.
Just over 2 years ago I watched my Dad and Mum look at each for the very last time before she slipped away from this life. I saw something that moved me so deeply....I saw the enormity of the love that created me and my brothers and felt so blessed to share that moment. In that moment everything in our lives changed but I promised myself that I would never settle for something less, I wanted what I saw in my Mum and Dad that day. A few months later as a promise to my Mum, I flew to America to meet Inger and thank her for helping me through Mum's illness. The first time I looked into her eyes, I saw forever, I didn't tell her, I wanted to be sure that my head was in a better place before expressing my feelings. I waited, went back 2 months later for Inger's birthday. We admitted our feelings and bought rings, not commitment in the traditional sense, but a ring for a promise to see where this journey would take us.
I have no regrets at all. She is the best thing that's ever happened, she is the reason why I get up every morning and strive to be a better person. She is the reason why I won't stop fighting and trying to find ways to put this family back together. I hate that I have a kid that's growing up with a part time parent, I hate that Inger doesn't have me there supporting her with our girl when she's hitting such a difficult age. Imagine being 10 years old and already having an understanding of gay rights, immigration and proposals like the UAFA. Don't get me wrong I think that it's great for kids to be politically aware, but this isn't the way in which they should learn.
I'm done for now but there will be more, I just needed to get that out of my system. Again thank you so much to everybody we can't do this without you