Thursday, April 26, 2012

Just Not Feeling "It" Lately

It has been quite awhile since I last wrote something for this blog.  I think it is because I am a tad bit discouraged.  While it is true that a lot of steps have been made in the right direction for marriage equality, very little has been done to help with same sex bi-national couples.

The last two months I have seen two couples who I personally know have to separate.  The whole thing is so indescribable and painful.  Having to say good bye to your spouse, the person that you desire to spend the rest of your life with is literally "bring you to your knees" painful.

While people in Washington D.C. are busy worrying about how decisions they make will advance their political career the two ladies pictured had to say good bye to each other just this week.  While Congress ignores immigration reform, lives are being torn apart and children are growing up without their Mothers.

One of the most heartbreaking things is that some of my friends who are bi-national same sex couples do not even know when they will see each other again.  These are people who are legally married (at least in six states) but, because of the so called Defense of Marriage Act or DOMA, they cannot sponsor their spouses for immigration.  DOMA is tearing apart families.

I cannot understand how people think that by allowing bi-national same sex couples to be able to sponsor their spouse or permanent partner, that it would do anything other than enhance our society.

I have heard all and I do mean all of the arguments for this evil, horrible, offensive and hateful law, and none of them make any sense to me.  Traditional family, traditional marriage, child bearing, abomination, nuclear family, natural order, etc... what does any of that have to do with allowing people who are in love to be together.

Everyone has different traditions.  People often say, let's make our own traditions.  Traditions change over the years.  Very few, if any, traditions are EXACTLY the same as what they were started out to be.

We are not going to stop people from having children.  Saying that a couple must be able to have children the "traditional way" to be married is a bit presumptuous.  Anyone with a brain in their head would not even use this as an argument because of elderly couples, infertile couples, and cancer survivor couples (not to mention same sex couples).

An abomination before God.  When did the USA get so concerned over abominations before God.  This is not even to mention that no where in the Bible does God condemn a monogamous and loving same sex relationship.  Back to my point of when did Congress and folks in the USA get so concerned over abominations.  Lying is an abomination, I haven't seen anyone put that up on a billboard.  As a matter of fact, in Proverbs 16:16-19, the Bible mentions seven things that are an abomination to God:
16 There are six things which the LORD hates, Yes, seven which are an abomination to Him: 17 Haughty eyes, a lying tongue, And hands that shed innocent blood, 18 A heart that devises wicked plans, Feet that run rapidly to evil, 19 A false witness who utters lies, And one who spreads strife among brothers.
If they are going to go by what they think the Bible says Congress had better work together because "one that spreads strife among the brothers" is pretty much a definition of the GOP today.

Have you ever had to say goodbye to someone you love?  Have you ever had to say goodbye not knowing when you would see them again?  Have you ever had to do that when it wasn't necessary except for a discriminatory law?  I have had to do this.  Thousands of couples have had to do this.

What can you do to help end this discrimination?  You can send a simple e-mail (click here) to your elected members of Congress asking them to co-sponsor the Respect for Marriage Act (Click on it to read it).  As important, or maybe for bi-national couples more important is the Uniting American Families Act.  

I personally tweet the House Judiciary Committee (they hold UAFA and Comprehensive Immigration Reform Act in their hands) at least once a week.  Please do whatever you can, but please do something.

For more information:

Stop the Deportations: The DOMA Project

Torn Apart:  United by Love, Divided by Law

Out4Immigration Blog

Immigration Equality Organization

One final thought.....I took this from a friend's Facebook page.  Although it may be simple for some, it is what most bi-national couples long for, dream about and hope...on a daily basis...just to be.....


  1. DOMA is both hateful and unconstitutional. I have 2 friends who are being affected by DOMA as we speak. One is Canadian and the other is American; both are women. My Canadian friend's visa is about ready to expire, which is making life extremely tough for them right now.

    I started a petition to defeat DOMA for this very reason. It's a large task, but if this petition would freaking go viral already, I think that we would have a shot at changing our world for the better. In case anyone's interested, here's the link:

    I hope that people will sign AND share. Thank you for posting your blog.

  2. i love your blog. i'm in a binational relationship, and trying to find more friends, and a support network of people trapped in the same situation. hope you will email me: :) -sl