Just Not Feeling "It" Lately

It has been quite awhile since I last wrote something for this blog.  I think it is because I am a tad bit discouraged.  While it is true that a lot of steps have been made in the right direction for marriage equality, very little has been done to help with same sex bi-national couples.

The last two months I have seen two couples who I personally know have to separate.  The whole thing is so indescribable and painful.  Having to say good bye to your spouse, the person that you desire to spend the rest of your life with is literally "bring you to your knees" painful.

While people in Washington D.C. are busy worrying about how decisions they make will advance their political career the two ladies pictured had to say good bye to each other just this week.  While Congress ignores immigration reform, lives are being torn apart and children are growing up without their Mothers.

One of the most heartbreaking things is that some of my friends who are bi-national same sex couples do not even know when they will see each other again.  These are people who are legally married (at least in six states) but, because of the so called Defense of Marriage Act or DOMA, they cannot sponsor their spouses for immigration.  DOMA is tearing apart families.

I cannot understand how people think that by allowing bi-national same sex couples to be able to sponsor their spouse or permanent partner, that it would do anything other than enhance our society.

I have heard all and I do mean all of the arguments for this evil, horrible, offensive and hateful law, and none of them make any sense to me.  Traditional family, traditional marriage, child bearing, abomination, nuclear family, natural order, etc... what does any of that have to do with allowing people who are in love to be together.

Everyone has different traditions.  People often say, let's make our own traditions.  Traditions change over the years.  Very few, if any, traditions are EXACTLY the same as what they were started out to be.

We are not going to stop people from having children.  Saying that a couple must be able to have children the "traditional way" to be married is a bit presumptuous.  Anyone with a brain in their head would not even use this as an argument because of elderly couples, infertile couples, and cancer survivor couples (not to mention same sex couples).

An abomination before God.  When did the USA get so concerned over abominations before God.  This is not even to mention that no where in the Bible does God condemn a monogamous and loving same sex relationship.  Back to my point of when did Congress and folks in the USA get so concerned over abominations.  Lying is an abomination, I haven't seen anyone put that up on a billboard.  As a matter of fact, in Proverbs 16:16-19, the Bible mentions seven things that are an abomination to God:

16 There are six things which the LORD hates, Yes, seven which are an abomination to Him: 17 Haughty eyes, a lying tongue, And hands that shed innocent blood, 18 A heart that devises wicked plans, Feet that run rapidly to evil, 19 A false witness who utters lies, And one who spreads strife among brothers.

If they are going to go by what they think the Bible says Congress had better work together because "one that spreads strife among the brothers" is pretty much a definition of the GOP today.

Have you ever had to say goodbye to someone you love?  Have you ever had to say goodbye not knowing when you would see them again?  Have you ever had to do that when it wasn't necessary except for a discriminatory law?  I have had to do this.  Thousands of couples have had to do this.

What can you do to help end this discrimination?  You can send a simple e-mail (click here) to your elected members of Congress asking them to co-sponsor the Respect for Marriage Act (Click on it to read it).  As important, or maybe for bi-national couples more important is the Uniting American Families Act.  

I personally tweet the House Judiciary Committee (they hold UAFA and Comprehensive Immigration Reform Act in their hands) at least once a week.  Please do whatever you can, but please do something.

For more information:

Stop the Deportations: The DOMA Project

Torn Apart:  United by Love, Divided by Law

Out4Immigration Blog

Immigration Equality Organization


One final thought.....I took this from a friend's Facebook page.  Although it may be simple for some, it is what most bi-national couples long for, dream about and hope...on a daily basis...just to be.....

Elections and Bi-national Couples

Well, it looks like, unless there is some huge shake up in the GOP, President Obama will be running against anti-immigration man, Mitt Romney. In statements over and over again he states that he is against amnesty, yet he does not offer any sort of Comprehensive Immigration Reform ideas.  As far as any answers for bi-national same sex couples... well, that subject, that specific question has yet to be asked of any GOP delegate.

Bay Windows - New England's Largest GLBT Newspaper published "The Romney Files" to show his stance on LGBT issues.  

It looks like our strongest hope is to get President Obama re-elected.  My fear is that because of Obama playing politics, he has offended many of the LGBT community and that will divide our vote.  A man, for whom I have great respect, Lt. Dan Choi said that he would not support President Obama.

 Think Progress LGBT reports the following:

“I think if Obama doesn’t endorse my full marriage equality and my person hood in this country, then I have no business supporting him and I don’t think a lot of the people who are first time votes will either,” Choi said at a panel called ‘What To Do When The President Is Just Not That Into You.’

Washington Blade’s Chris Johnson got this response from Choi, “Sometimes love comes in harsh forms. I love my detractors enough to let them know when they are misguided and I only regret that we are both suffering under a second-class citizenship imposed by politicians who smile pleasantly while denying our fight for justice. The harshest treatment would be our acquiescence to the view that we do not deserve equality.”

 While I understand Choi's opinion and I respect his stance, to vote for an independent delegate would only allow Mitt Romney to be able to defeat President Obama.  It would not allow the independent delegate to win.  I feel that a second term for Obama is what we need to get equal marriage rights and equal immigration rights.  The Lieutenant has time on his side.  We as bi-national couples do not.  We are apart from our spouses, we live in exile, we live under the wire, looking over our shoulders.  With Obama not having the need to win a third term or kiss up to people for votes,  I believe that he will work to get rid of DOMA and help get the Uniting American Families Act passed.

Regardless who wins the GOP nomination, we cannot divide our vote to let these anti-gay (which all GOP's have professed to be) people take office.

 No one is more aware of the President's instructions to ICE to use discretion when deporting the undocumented than bi-national same sex couples, but he has not told them to stop.  He has not told them to give us an avenue to sponsor our spouses for immigration.  He has not made it legal for us to be able to be with our life partners.

We have a lot of work to do in 2012.  I, as a conservative, will be voting Democrat for the first time in my life.  I urge you to do the same.  We need DOMA gone, we need the Uniting American Families Act passed and we need to be able to be with our spouses/partners/sweethearts (whatever term you prefer).  We need legal recognition.  We need to be equal citizens of these United States of America.

When a Kiss is Not Just a Kiss

Petty Officer 2nd Class Marissa Gaeta won a raffle on the dock landing ship Oak Hill to be the first to kiss a loved one on its return to port in Virginia Beach. Petty Officer 3rd Class Citlalic Snell was waiting when she crossed the brow. Story  http://hamptonroads.com/2011/12/first-lesbian-couple-get-first-kiss-navy-homecoming

Congratulations to these young ladies.  While many folks may not understand the hoopla and the fanfare around all of this and the importance of this kiss, same sex couples everywhere hail this as a historical kiss.  

Bi-national same sex couples look upon this as it being sweet, sweet indeed.  However, there is a sense of jealousy and longing.  While these two get to hold each other and kiss for all to see, we hide in civil disobedience, talk on Skype, live in exile.  We wait for our country to give us equal (not special) rights.  

Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton made the historical speech to the UN about LGBT rights are human rights and human rights are LGBT rights.  We would like for that to extend to the United States of America.  We would like our human rights.  See Clinton's historical speech:

 

We would like to be able to kiss our loved one in public without fear.  We would like to be able to kiss our spouse without the worry that they will have to leave again soon.  We would like to kiss our sweetheart on American soil as they are granted legal status.

We are American Citizens who are in love with someone who is not an American Citizen.  We cannot sponsor them because we are of the same sex.  We are asking for the right to be allowed to be with our spouses.

While we are encouraged by this kiss, I look forward to the day when bi-national couples can "kiss in the sunlight and say to the sky...behold and believe what you see.  Behold how my lover loves me."

American Family Association Sends an Email Full of Lies

This email was sent to me on November 16, 2011 by the American Family Association.  The lies throughout the email are fantastic.  The misrepresentation of the facts is close to being liable.  The whole of the untruths is so Unchristian it is amazing.   I am quite sure that this is not what the Bible means when it says to Preach the Gospel and to love our neighbors. I cut and pasted this.  I changed nothing except removing my personal identifying information.       Gay weddings coming to ? - Senate voting on repeal of 'one man, one woman' marriage S. 598 now goes to the full Senate, where YOUR Senators can stop it dead in its tracks. November 15, 2011 Dear , Late last week, the Senate Judiciary Committee voted to repeal the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) and force to recognize same-sex marriages from other states. If passed by the full Senate, the so-called "Respect for Marriage Act" (S. 598) will repeal DOMA and give federal recognition to two homosexuals who wish to be "married." S. 598 shows anything but respect for the sanctity of marriage. Urge your Senators to stop this bill! The repercussions are enormous: States laws protecting marriage as between "one man, one woman" will become null and void - including the 31 states who have voted on constitutional amendments. The military will be thrown into complete chaos and disarray, as Department of Defense leaders try to figure out housing, benefits, and "same-sex spouse" sensitivity training regimens. Churches will come under fire from radical homosexual activists. Ministers and churches will be sued for "religious discrimination" for refusing to perform or allow gay "marriages." Public schools will be forced to indoctrinate our children, teaching them that homosexual marriage is both natural and acceptable. S. 598 now goes to the full Senate, where YOUR Senators can stop it dead in its tracks. Last July, White House Press Secretary Jay Carney said President Obama supports the bill to repeal DOMA. Carney replied: "I can tell you that the president has long called for a legislative repeal of the so-called Defense of Marriage Act...He is proud to support the Respect for Marriage Act...which would take DOMA off the books once and for all." Take Action Email your senators today, without delay! Urge them to do everything within their power to protect marriage by voting AGAINST S. 598. After sending your email, please call your senators personally. Ask for your senators by name when you call the Capitol switchboard at 202-224-3121. Email your senators today, without delay! It is very important that you forward this alert to your friends and family members. Sincerely, Tim Wildmon, President American Family Association Help us Financially Donate Online to AFA One-Time Monthly Text the letters "AFA" to 20222 to give $10 Standard messaging rates may apply.

In Touch With The American Voters

What do the majority of United States Citizens think about Marriage Equality?

LOS ANGELES | Fri May 20, 2011 10:26pm EDT
 

(Reuters) - Fifty-three percent of Americans support making gay marriage legal, a Gallup poll showed on Friday, a marked reversal from just a year ago when an equal majority opposed same-sex matrimony.


 

Poll: More Americans favor same-sex marriage

Posted by

CNN Political Unit

(CNN) – Support for same-sex marriage has received a boost, according to a new CNN/Opinion Research survey released Tuesday.

The poll indicates that more than half of all Americans believe that marriages between gay or lesbian couples should be legally valid. With 51 percent of respondents saying that same-sex marriages should be legal, it is the first time that a CNN poll has found majority support for same-sex marriage.
Full results (pdf) 

Poll: Support for gay marriage continues to rise

November 03, 2011 

|By David Lauter,
Washington Bureau

Public acceptance of same-sex marriage has grown at an accelerating pace, with approval jumping by nine percentage points in the past two years and the nation now evenly divided on the issue, according to a new Pew Research Center survey released Thursday.
The poll, conducted in late September and early October, showed 46% of Americans surveyed support legalizing same-sex marriage and 44% are opposed. The survey among 2,410 adults has a margin of error of plus or minus 2.5 percentage points.

***********************************************************

In listening to the arguments that Republicans put forth regarding the Respect for Marriage Act (at the Senate Judiciary Committee Hearing),  I was amazed at how little they cared about getting any new arguments.  As a matter of fact, most of the eight "nays" ... their NO votes were given by proxy.  They don't really care enough about the Lesbian and Gay community to even show up at the vote.  

Senator Grassley from Iowa of course puts up the inevitable tired argument "traditional  one man one woman marriage".  He is gently, affectionately and respectfully debunked by Senator Al Franken:  “We need to be accurate when we talk about the history of man and woman,” noting that at one point women were chattel.

After thirteen years of Independent Fundamental Baptist Bible School/College education, I did a lot of research. 
My findings:  The Bible Says - Homosexuality
 
I found a theologian who graduated from Harvard and the conservative Bob Jones University who wrote a book on reexamining the Biblical Evidence on Same-sex relationships called The Children Are Free.

Just because a person is straight, that doesn't mean that they have morals or family values.  Just because a person is a lesbian or gay, doesn't mean that they have no morals or family values.  This is yet another ancient argument that is proven wrong every day by decent, family oriented and loving same sex couples.

One of the most insulting arguements that was presented at the Judiciary Committee Respect for Marriage Act hearing was the following:

Senator Cornyn:
 
"Repealing the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) would actually result in an expansion of federal benefits and spending at a time when we know that federal spending is way out of control and our entitlement programs are unsustainable,"

"Repealing the Defense of Marriage Act would actually increase the cost of Social Security that is already insolvent, more money is going out than coming in."

"No one, no one has paid into the Social Security system expecting benefits to be paid to same sex partners."

This man, this elected Senator actually believes that because a person is a lesbian or because they are gay, that they do not deserve to get federal benefits even though they have paid into it all of their lives. Um Senator, I am a lesbian and I believe that I and my family have the right to federal benefits.  I have been and still do pay in to Social Security expecting that I and/or my family will benefit from it.


Senator Grassley mentioned religion.  They should read their Bibles:

Matthew 22:36-40

New International Version (NIV)

³⁶ “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”
 ³⁷ Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’^{[a] 38} This is the first and greatest commandment. ³⁹ And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’^{[b] 40} All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Footnotes:

1. Matthew 22:37 Deut. 6:5
2. Matthew 22:39 Lev. 19:18

It deeply saddens, distresses and appalls me that our elected officials readily admit that they do not feel that gay and lesbian people are deserving of equal rights.  We are Americans.  We are citizens of the United States of America.  We are people.  We are not low life, scum sucking, free loading people looking for a hand out.  We are productive citizens of the greatest country in the world.  We should be treated with the same respect as our straight counterparts.  "...with Liberty and Justice for ALL"

Traditions are for Families.

"I believe in traditional marriage being between one man and one woman...."  --Eric Cantor speaking at the University of Michigan 

Traditions are for holidays.  Traditions are for memories.  Traditions are made for memories.  Marriage is a tradition I hope to have between my wife and I.  (Yes I am a lesbian)  We make our own traditions.  Traditions are not laws.  Traditions should not be made to be a law.  "This is the way we have always done it" is not the reason for a law.
Just because something is a tradition, doesn't mean it is always right.

                           Slavery
                           Women Voting
                           Black People's Rights
                           Interracial Marriage
                           Wigs on Men in Congress
                           Public Hanging
                           Public Flogging
                           Branding People With Letters (The Scarlet Letter)
                           A Sin Against God Being a Crime (adultery)

All of these were eventually changed.  If you think that God is against homosexuality, that didn't even make God's top ten list.  Sins that did make God's top 10:
                           Lying
                           Adultry
                           Stealing
                          

Remember that there is supposed to be separation of Church and State....not when it is convenient for the Church, but all the time. 

Traditions are for families.  Let my family have mine.  We need to pass the Respect for Marriage Act.  We need to pass the Uniting American Families Act.  We need to allow all Americans to begin to make their own family traditions!

A Vote For Values & Morals

I have seen hundreds of polls, articles, and opinions stating that people need to vote against Marriage Equality because it is the moral thing to do. Vote to defend Marriage. I am over it.

First of all, I am a lesbian. Secondly, I have morals and Thirdly, I am for Marriage, I want mine to be legal in all 50 states and recognized federally.

It is appalling to me that people think that just because I am for same sex relationships, I don't have any morals or family values. Nothing can be further from the truth. I have never ever cheated on my wife and`we have two sons together who are outstanding, good boys.

People can pick out examples of immoral behaviors, even criminal behaviors of non-heterosexual people and hold those up and say this is how they behave. However,the same can be done of heterosexuals. Heterosexuals are immoral, without values. Most serial killers are heterosexual males. How many heterosexual State and Federal Congress folks have cheated on their spouses?

They cheer because of executions because God says an "eye for an eye" and "whosoever sheds man's blood, by man shall his blood be shed"

They boo a gay military man, serving in Iraq because God says ......  Well, God doesn't condemn homosexuality, but they think He does

They say that a man who is over $100,000 behind on child support is pro-family because he is anti abortion. 

To quote Jesus "He who is without sin, let him cast the first stone..."

So when someone says "vote to protect Marriage". I say yes, vote to protect Marriage....my marriage to my wife is just as important to protect as (for example) my nephew's marriage to his wife.
When someone says we need to vote to protect morals, I say vote to protect morals...make adultery or divorce illegal.

When someone says that we need to protect our children. There is nothing I agree with more than that. Let's make penalties for child abuse harsher so that people will think twice about hurting children.

A vote for family values and morals is a vote to allow lesbian and gay folks to have equal marriage rights. Believe that!

Why, in the United States of America, why do we still have to fight for equal rights for all?  If I have heard this once, I have heard it a million times:  "I may not agree with what he says, but I will fight for the right for him to say it.  Isn't this the same thing?  I want to live with my wife, have my relationship recognized and honored as equal to heterosexual marriages.  I want our children to be able to have the benefits that other children are afforded.  I don't want my family to have a stigma on it because we are lesbians.  I live in the United States of America... shouldn't I have that right?


Let's get the Respect for Marriage Act passed (repeal the so called Defense of Marriage Act) and the Uniting American Families Act passed to give all Americans full equal rights. It is good, it is moral, it is the right thing to do!