An Open Letter to Those Who Compare Homosexuality to Incest

WARNING: Sexually explicit

WARNING: Excessive Child Abuse

WARNING: Graphic Violence

In a closet, tied to the pole where one's clothes hang, she waited. She hung by her wrists with toes barely scraping the floor. Finally, he arrived. The man that was supposed to be her protector; the man that was supposed to give her boyfriends a difficult time; the man that was supposed to walk her down the aisle; he finally arrived.

She could feel her heart beating in her chest as he slid the doors open. Would he beat her this time?

"You have been waiting for me?" One of his favorite things was to force her to answer his obscene questions. He spread her legs inserting his fingers...as he asked her to tell him how much she loves it...finally he finishes by putting his penis inside...inside this little seven year old child. It feels like he is splitting her small body in half...

When he is done, she drops to the floor in the closet...her wrists raw...and from her vagina...a small bit of blood...

How dare you equate this abuse, this horror, this torture, this sickening action to that of two people being in love.

I am appalled that the two words can be used in the same sentence.

Incest is abuse. About power. About control. Nothing but hurt and hate.

The love that I have for my wife is gentle and safe and beautiful and pure.

I hesitate to say this because I don't want someone with a low IQ to say that I am a lesbian because of the abuse. The story I have told is my own. So when I say that I am appalled that someone would equate the two, I know what I am talking about. How dare you? How dare you? Anyone that would make such a statement is obviously ignorant about love and what it is like to be in love and the wonder it all.

I put this story out there for one reason and one reason only to educate people. To let them know that it is so important and imparative to have marriage and immigration equality for all Americans.

State Marriage Equality Does Not Help - Repeal DOMA Pass UAFA

Immigration is under Federal jurisdiction and therefore, the States passing Marriage Equality does not help with Same Sex bi-national couples being able to be together legally here the the United States.

What if you couldn't see your spouse? What if you went months or years without being able to hold your husband or wife? What if that decision was not yours, but your government? What if your future with your family was in the hands of a government? I am not talking about some backwards third world country, I am talking about the United States of America, where all are created equal...that is except for the second class Lesbian and Gay people. They apparently do not deserve the same rights as all American people...just ask Congress.

There are two bills that have been introduced into Congress again and again to help with this situation, yet, they have yet to be brought for a vote. This is because the GOP for whatever reason believes that if they ignore us, they will not have to deal with us. The two bills are the Uniting American Families Act and the Respect for Marriage Act.

Once again the 112th Congress (which has been called the "Do Nothing Congress) refuses to bring the UAFA and the RFMA up for votes.

Please sign the following to help repeal DOMA:

https://secure3.convio.net/hrc/site/Advocacy?cmd=display&page=UserAction&id=1070

The Senate actually did hold a hearing...the first in the long history of the bill:

ABC News’ Arlette Saenz (@arlettesaenz) reports:

The Senate held the first ever hearing on the Respect of Marriage Act, which would repeal the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act and extend to legally married same-sex couples the same benefits and protections provided to heterosexual married couples.

“I’m concerned that DOMA has served to create a tier of second-class families in states like Vermont. This runs counter to the values upon which America is founded, to the proud tradition we have in this country of moving toward a more inclusive society,” Senate Judiciary Committee Chmn. Patrick Leahy, D-Vt., said.

Testifying before the Senate Committee, Rep. John Lewis, D-Georgia, equated DOMA to racism and his personal experiences with discrimination.

“As a child, I tasted the bitter fruits of racism and discrimination, and I did not like it. And in 1996, when Congress passed the Defense of Marriage Act, the taste of that old bitter fruit filled my mouth once again,” Lewis said. “The Defense of Marriage Act is a stain on our democracy. We must do away with this unjust, discriminatory law once and for all. It reminds me of another dark time in our nation's history, in many years when states passed laws banning blacks and whites from marrying. We look back on that time now with disbelief. And one day we will look back on this period with that same sense of disbelief.”

But Republicans pounced on the Respect for Marriage Act and defended the constitutionality of DOMA.

“Traditional marriage is a sacred institution and serves as the cornerstone of our society. We cannot afford to devalue it with legislation like S. 598, and we must oppose any effort that would diminish the definition of marriage,” Rep. Steve King, R-Iowa, said. “The other side argues that you can't choose who you love and that a union between two men or two women is equal to that of one man and one woman. But these are the same arguments that could be used to promote marriage between fathers and daughters, mothers and sons, or even polygamist relationships.”

The Uniting American Families Act would add three words to immigration law "or Permanent Partner". For some reason, Congress feels that they should have the power to keep us from those that we love because it would put a strain on immigration. Our immigration system is so broken and our Congress is so "do nothing" that President Obama had to take steps to not deport the DREAMers or the partners of the Lesbians or Gay people.

Do they not see how cruel it is? Do they get such a power rush by waving their all powerful pens saying I cannot be with my wife. What if Someone had the right keep them from their spouses for as long as they keep DOMA as law...for as long as they refuse to pass the Uniting American Families Act.Maybe it would give them some sort of understanding as to what thousands of bi-national same sex couples are going through daily.

Pass the Uniting American Families Act, Repeal the Defense of Marriage Act Please

The Nuclear Family

I was told by a Congressman that he was not for the Uniting American Families Act because "sure. It is right to allow nuclear families to immigrate (mom, dad, kids), but chain migration has put a strain on the system. Also, the federal gov't, IMHO, correctly, does not recognize gay marriage for purposes of "nuclear" family requirement."

I guess because I have a wife and children, I do not meet the nuclear requirements by the Federal government because I am a woman. They would rather cruelly tell me that I don't have the right to live with my wife and kids. That I do not have the right to sponsor the love of my life for immigration because I am a woman and she is a woman. Do they not realize how inhuman and cruel that really is.

If their underlying reason is religion, I have covered that more than adequately throughout my whole blog. I disagree with how you live, so you can't live. I don't understand how someone can be so horribly cruel. Do we not deserve to love and to live with our families? Do we not deserve to be happy, too. I am a lesbian, I am a Christian, I am a mother of two boys, I am a wife. I am an American. Please let me have the right to live with the rights that all American families deserve.

The Encyclopædia Britannica

nuclear family, also called elementary family, in sociology and anthropology, a group of people who are united by ties of partnership and parenthood and consisting of a pair of adults and their socially recognized children. Typically, but not always, the adults in a nuclear family are married. Although such couples are most often a man and a woman, the definition of the nuclear family has expanded with the advent of same-sex marriage. Children in a nuclear family may be the couple’s biological or adopted offspring.

Thus defined, the nuclear family was once widely held to be the most basic and universal form of social organization. Anthropological research, however, has illuminated so much variability of this form that it is safer to assume that what is universal is a “nuclear family complex” in which the roles of husband, wife, mother, father, son, daughter, brother, and sister are embodied by people whose biological relationships do not necessarily conform to the Western definitions of these terms. In matrilineal societies, for example, a child may be the responsibility not of his biological genitor but of his mother’s brother, who fulfills the roles typical of Western fatherhood.

If you would so torture people by keeping apart spouses from spouses, mothers from their children, fathers from their children, because we are homosexual, your indifference defines you and your cruelty rivals that of the Nazis who separated families without a second thought because they were beneath the dignity of the Aryan race.

Today I Took Someone Off of Life Support

I am a Registered Respiratory Therapist, and have been for close to twenty years now.  As a Respiratory Therapist, I manage the ventilators; the Life Support Machines.  Our job is to keep people breathing and their hearts beating.  A lot of the time, I remove the Endotrachal tube because the person is now able to breathe on their own, they are doing well, and it is a good thing.  Sometimes, I must remove the tube because the patient is worse and will never get better.  I am removing the tube so that the patient can die.  For the last three days, I have been taking care of a patient.  I have been speaking with her children and teaching them about the ventilator.  Today, we discovered through tests that she would never get better.  The family asked us to remove the ventilator.  Her children are in their 50’s and maybe even early 60’s.  The daughter told me to take out the tube, since her Mom was not going to get better, she did not want her to suffer any more.  I got the Doctor’s order, I went to the room.  The patient’s son stopped me, grabbed me, and I hugged him and he sobbed on my shoulder for what must have been about a minute.  He said this in my ear, “We want you to know that we appreciate everything you have done for my Mom.  We are so glad that you are the one that will be doing this. …etc”  I was so moved by that I began to cry. I went into the room and prepared everything.  I spoke to the patient although she was not awake.  I told her that she must be a good mother to have all of her children surrounding her and loving on her.   I took out the tube and the RN adjusted the patient’s medications so that she would be comfortable.  I looked at the family surrounding their Mom as she slipped into eternity.  I felt how blessed they must feel to have all of their loved ones right there at her bedside at this moment.  They held hands, they hugged each other, and they were all able to be there for their Mom and for each other.

Where will I be if my loved one slips into eternity?  Will I be able to be at her bedside?  If I die before her, will my children and my sweetheart be able to be at my bedside?  Will they be able to offer and receive support, hugs and love from family…or will they be forced to be far away in another country because the United States does not recognize same sex couples in Immigration Laws? 

It is a well known and documented fact that the three days following Christmas Day, hospitals are amazingly busy.  It seems that we consider being with our families more important than our own health.  During the holidays, people travel all round the country, and yes internationally to be with family.  

I want to be with my family also.  I want my friends to be able to be with their families.  It is not right that Federal Law prohibits us from this basic, visceral and primitive instinct …. To be with our loved ones; to be with our love; just to be is all that we want

Tonight, when you tuck your children into bed, kiss their foreheads, and thank God that your children are happy and healthy, know that there are Moms that are unable to hold their children and kiss them good night.  Know that there are spouses who have not held each other for months.  These people have done nothing evil, sinful, or even a crime.  They have fallen in love with someone who is not born in the United States of America.  It is only because we are homosexual and we are not recognized as human beings with basic human rights.

The time is now; we must get the Uniting American Families Act passed.  We can no longer tolerate this horrific punishment, these cruel laws that separate us from our families. 

To Quote a Barry Manilow song:

          And Tell me

          When will our eyes meet

          When can I touch you

          When will this strong yearning end…

and when will I hold you again

Christmas Evening 2010 - Cruel and Unusual Punishment

Here I sit in my living room reading my emails, tweets, facebook page, and texts, I realize that the world is smaller than what it used to be.  I am watching a show about Christmas lights and know that the greatest gift that we have been given is the gift that God gave us, His Son.  I am thankful to have been able to become a Christian at the young tender age of nine years old.  

I sit here and I reflect on the things for which I am grateful.  Like I stated I am thankful for my salvation.  I am thankful to live here in the United States, I am thankful for my family, I am thankful for my job, and I am thankful for all of my dear friends.  

Somethings, however, give me pause and confuse me.  I am trying to figure out why it has been so difficult to get pro Gay and Lesbian bills through Congress.  I have actually gone to their websites and read up on why they so disapprove of Gay people.  Here is what I have come up with so far... someone help me further:

1.  They don't want pro homosexual teaching in our schools.  They say that it is being taught as young as kindergarten with books like Heather Has Two Mommies.  I looked it up on Wikipedia and here is what they have to say about this book.  

Heather Has Two Mommies is a children's book written by Lesléa Newman with Diana Souza's illustrations, first published in 1989. It is about a child, Heather, raised by lesbian women: her biological mother, Jane, who gave birth to her after artificial insemination, and her biological mother's same-sex partner, Kate. At Heather's playgroup, her family situation is discussed simply and positively, as are those of other children in non-traditional family units.<sup>[1]

To teach children that there are different kinds of family units is being done by cartoon characters every day.  You have cartoon kids that live with grandparents, aunts and uncles, with just their mom, we don't have a second thought about that coming into our homes, but let a homosexual say something, and suddenly we are pushing out beliefs on them.  

2.  We are evil according to their beliefs in God....after all didn't God destroy a whole city because they were homosexual?  Well, actually, NO, He did not.  Sodom was not destroyed for homosexual behavior.  Please educate yourself instead of just saying what other people have told you.  I find it hard to believe that EVERY man in Sodom was gay and that Lot would offer his daughters to a bunch of Gay men.  

 Let me know if I can clear up other verses like the ones in Romans chapter one which deals with idol worship which involved homosexual relations with many different partners.  The condemnation was on idol worship and the practices that went along with the idol worship.

I don't know why they think I am trying to push homosexuality on them.  I just want to live in my own world with the same rights as they have.  I don't care that they are homosexual, I don't care that they are heterosexual all I want is to be able to live together with the one I love and our children legally with no fear. 

I plan on working hard to get the Uniting American Families Act brought forward and hopefully voted upon.  I am going to try to get a fax, tweet, email, and letter campaign going so that the last thing that our Congress people think of before they lay their head on their pillows is the Uniting American Families Act.  I want us to be the first thing that they think of when they wake up in the morning.  I want their staff that works in their mail rooms to know that we are alive and well.

I cannot legally sponsor my sweetheart because of immigration law.  I want to understand why people do not feel the urgency of the situation.  It is then I realize that they go home to their families.  They don't have to worry about missing their loved ones because they are with them.  We have been trying to get the Uniting American Families Act in one form or another for approximately ten years. That is long enough to wait.

I want to know what people have against the Uniting American Families Act and I want to be able to have a chance for an expert to address those issues.  I want to dispel their fears.   Barney Frank had a wonderful conversation with a newsman about having the military straight people shower with military gay people, he said that it has always been going on, they just didn't know who was who.   These are irrational fears.

We need to get the Uniting American Families passed this year.  We need to address the fears of those who think that we are evil, strange or just plain trouble makers.  Let us have the freedoms to be with those we love.  We have been separated long enough.  It is cruel and unusual punishment for those of us who are innocent to continue to have to be apart.   

With that I wish you a Merry Christmas!!</sup>