Family Values, High Morals, and Defending Marriage

Why do you suppose folks who rarely pick up a Bible can almost quote word for word the verses that they erroneously think condemn same sex relationships?

Why do you suppose these same people refuse to acknowledge the fact that the Bible calls their sins abomination?

Why do you suppose time after time, the same people are brought down for doing things that are less then ethical?

I have two sons.
I believe in family values.
I am married.
I have high morals, I have never cheated on my spouse.  I am honest, truthful and a hard worker.  I have worked for the same company for 20 years.
I believe in defending marriage.  I think that the decline of the family and marriage is appalling.
My family attends church regularly.
My Boys are boy scouts.
They attend AWANA every Monday night.
My boys are both exceptional students with straight A's.

How can people be against my family and my marriage?  How can people say that I am not for family values because I am a lesbian?  How can people say that I am less than them and that I don't deserve the same rights as a heterosexual couple?

I would like for my marriage to be recognized by the State and Federal governments.  I would like to not have to hide my relationship for fear of bullying.  I believe that the government is responsible for the bullying of the Lesbian and Gay people because they have not made us equal.  Bullies will always pick on someone that they perceive to be inferior to them and the US State and Federal government's failure to recognize us as equal, feeds right into their bullying. 
  
I am not the exception in the Lesbian and Gay community.  I am the rule.  Our families....our values.... our morals.........  We are pro family.  We are pro marriage.  We are for family values.  We would like to be treated equally as our heterosexual counterparts.

How can the US Government refuse my family equal rights and equal protection?  To continue to discriminate against us is immoral, anti-family, anti-marriage, and unAmerican.

Our Leaders Are Sheep

I just read a "tweet" from one of the Congressmen that I follow. He said, "I just joined 40 of my colleagues...." The bill he is talking about totally discriminates against women's health care and takes away from many low income women the ability to get their yearly PAP smear and check up.

What I want to know is this: Do any of the people that we have elected do any research on what they are doing? Do they only sponsor or vote for bills because their "party" tells them to? Do they even know what the bill contains? Do they care?

Do they try to educate the public or their-selves as to what is accurate, or do they only feed into the ignorance.

Most of United States Citizens are woefully ignorant as to the immigration process, yet, we allow them to make decisions as to who can immigrate instead of educating them, we feed into their ignorance and fear.

I am certain that those voting to keep me from my rights because of religious belief have never ever picked up a Bible and done any sort of research. If they did, they would not be so fast to continue to allow me to be a disposable, second class citizen because I am a lesbian.

TO CONGRESS:

1. Make decisions based on research

2. Do Your own research

3. Don't discriminate because of religion

You don't have time? You hold people's lives in your hand and you don't have time? You are either on a power rush or you have no idea what your job really is.

You have the ability to allow my wife, children and I to live together legally and in peace. You have the ability to take my family away and dispose of them like a piece of garbage because of your religion....yet, you have never personally done any research on what the Bible really says. Let's face it, when is the last time you picked up a Bible with a Concordance and done any sort of research....NEVER. Then how can you vote intelligently based on what other people have said that other people have said that they say tradition has said.....your hold my life in your hands and you do such shoddy work....thank God you don't have my job otherwise people would die with the disdain that you do your research and how your base your voting.

What to Do About Speaker Boehner

The Speaker of the House, John Boehner refuses to bring the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) up for a vote. Not to mention that the immigrant hater Lamar Smith refuses to bring the Uniting American Families Act up for a hearing in the Judiciary Committee (but that is a different blog subject)

What we need to do is for all of us, every single one of us to contact, email, tweet, and/or fax the Speaker's office daily. YES, Daily.

To Email the Speaker, you must use this form outside of Ohio's 8th district.

http://www.speaker.gov/Contact/

Office of the Speaker

H-232 The Capitol

Washington, DC 20515

Phone: (202) 225-0600

Fax: (202) 225-5117

If you live in Ohio's 8th district, you can email his Ohio Office

http://johnboehner.house.gov/Contact/

We can complain about his tears and the fact that he refuses to bring DOMA up for a vote, but unless we take action, our complaints are only heard by those who actually agree with our arguments .... and this will not bring about change. I urge you to take action.

It was brought to my attention that I was remiss in leaving out his twitter accounts. He has two of them. @SpeakerBoehner and @johnboehner

The Senate DOMA Hearing

The first ever congressional hearing on the Respect for Marriage Act has ended. Among the witnesses were Freedom to Marry's Founder and President Evan Wolfson

Ron Wallen, a California man who may lose his home because DOMA prohibits him from receiving Social Security survivor benefits from his recently deceased husband Tom.

Sen. Al Franken (D-MN) questions Focus on the Family's Tom Minnery about his misrepresentation of a HHS study while claiming that children are better off being raised in homes with opposite-sex couples. The study found that children fair best when raised in homes with two parents regardless of gender.

Under questioning from Sen. Patrick Leahy, Focus on the Family's Tom Minnery admits that children are disadvantaged by lack of protections for same-sex couples.

From The Atlantic

Back in 1996, no senator was calling the antigay forces on their lies, damn lies, and statistics. No senator approvingly quoted his state's married same-sex couples or invited white-bread suburban lawnmowing gay men and lesbians to tell the heartbreaking disaster stories about being excluded from full marriage recognition. This time, perhaps no Republican senator was yet willing to urge DOMA's repeal, but only Sen. Chuck Grassley (R-Iowa) showed up to speak in support of it.

The moral panic of the late 1980s and early 1990s left behind three major legacies: Bowers v. Hardwick, "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," and DOMA. The first two have fallen. And while states' laws and constitutional amendments have to be repealed as well, the federal DOMA is the most important brick in the wall. Today I could see that wall shaking.

Tom and Ron's story is a stark example of the kind of injustice same-sex couples face due to the Defense of Marriage Act. You can help reverse it by signing the petition to end the "gay tax" and repeal DOMA at http://freedomtomarry.org/taxday

Love Forbidden

Love Forbidden

I am so honored to include in my blog the following story of two women who want nothing more than to be able to be with each other, support each other, love each other, and hold each other.  They have asked to remain as anonymous as possible, and I will respect that.  Thank you for allowing me to include your story in my blog.  I am humbled, honored, and grateful.

Note: UAFA = Uniting American Families Act

DOMA = Defense of Marriage Act

 

 

I first met CJ online through some mutual friends on Twitter and very quickly found myself interested in knowing more about her. Just from Twitter conversations I could see that she was intelligent, funny, and very passionate about the things that are important to her. One day CJ asked me to join her and a couple of others on a Skype call. The first time I heard her voice I melted and now, after a year, it still has that same effect on me. We grew closer and soon we were talking through Skype on our cell phones at least three times a day; morning, noon and night. We found that we are alike in many ways, enjoy most of the same things, yet we are different in ways that complement each other. 

She flew to North Carolina from the UK to visit for the first time last August. It was after that visit that I knew without a doubt that she is the woman of my dreams. When we are together, everything feels so right. When we are apart, it is quite honestly very painful. I suffer from migraines and when CJ isn’t here, I get them weekly; sometimes twice a week. When we are together I rarely get one. Every day that we are apart feels like a day wasted; a day that I should have been able to spend with the one I love; a day that I can’t get back. 

Right now we should be happy. We shouldn't be sad and hurt from being forced to live apart. We shouldn't be worrying about how and when we can be together. For as long as I can remember I've had this image in my mind of the perfect woman for me. I had given up hope that she existed. But she does, and we finally found each other. Problem is, she’s not a US citizen and the US government doesn’t recognize our relationship. I may be forced to choose between my family and a good job I’ve held for 21 years or the love of my life.

 

T and I met online. At the start of 2010 we were both going through very difficult relationship breakups. We began Skyping and soon became to rely on each other for support. We felt like soul mates from the start. We just clicked. I think I realized about a month or so into our friendship that I was falling in love with her.

Early last spring, we had planned for me to go over to the US in November for a month. But by May, November seemed so far away that we brought it forward to August. I spent a little over four weeks in NC and during that time I knew I was in love and never wanted to leave her. But I had to. There were nights while she slept I would lay awake crying. Being there, with her, felt so right, so perfect. The parting at the airport is the most unbearable heartache, like someone is standing on you and trying to crush your chest. I blame the US officials who have passed laws that suppress our freedom to love.

I went back out for three weeks over Christmas and New Year and T is planning on coming to the UK in April for two weeks. That was going to be the next time we saw each other. Then I was in a cycling accident in February and had to take time off work. I was hurting, and I just needed to be with my girl so I flew out for a week and a half. Everything was fine except the interrogation by immigration because I'd only left the US seven weeks earlier. I wanted to scream at her, “I'm in pain. I just want to be with my partner. Is that too much to ask?” but I couldn't. Why do we have to feel like criminals just because we are in love with a US citizen? This is what the US government is doing. It’s punishing it's own citizens for having fallen in love with someone from another country. It is a clear case of the government saying who its citizens can and cannot love.

T is the most loving, caring, kind hearted, generous person I have ever met. She makes me feel invincible. If I'm stressed, angry or upset, just talking to her calms me down and puts me back in my happy place. This relationship should not have to be lived primarily over Skype. I get stressed if I have to go a whole work day, for whatever reason, without hearing her voice. I miss her so, so much. We should be able to wake up together and help each other start the day, which in turn would make for a more productive workforce. I want to be there in the evening of the day for each other, to moan about the crap life throws at us, and to enjoy the good times. I want to be supportive in the build up to job interviews and celebrate promotions and to be together at such times when extended family needs us. It hurts to know that many couples take having a beer on the deck in the yard on a Friday night or arguing about what to watch on TV for granted. We do not even have those “luxuries”. To be separated by law is a crime, pure and simple.

T could move over here (UK), and I could sponsor her without any problems. However; unlike me, she has an elderly mother and very close family ties. How could I ask her to leave? That is not an option. We may relocate to Canada where it would be closer for her to fly to NC on a regular basis. That would be another loss to the US. She's a highly skilled IT worker. How many skilled workers does the US want to lose? Until UAFA is passed or DOMA repealed, it seems like the officials don't care. As for me, I have a Masters degree, am self employed and have no criminal record.

 
I know our relationship is less than a year old and some people have suffered this injustice for much longer. I hope that it really is the dawn of a new era and that all loving couples can be together. I am certain there is only one woman with whom I want to spend the rest of my life, but she is 4,000 miles away in one of the most powerful, but frustrating, democracies in the world. Don't let it become the most backward looking. Please, repeal DOMA or at least pass UAFA in the meantime.