Showing posts with label gay marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gay marriage. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

The Irony of NOM's Values Bus and the Marriage Defense

When NOM says people are marching in defense of marriage. I tell them, "Go ahead, I am for marriage...marriage for all who desire to get married."

When NOM talks about their family values bus, I say that is great, because American families need values. I am for teaching values.

What I don't like is the assumption that because I am a lesbian, I do not have values and I am against marriage.

I could go into all of the dead beat dad Christians, the Craig List Gay Sex Republicans and the low life pedophile Priests, but I will not. What I will say is this: How dare they make this assumption: heterosexuals have values and homosexuals do not. That is a lie.

Now I cannot speak for all people desiring to be married, but I can say that all a lot of us want is the right to be married, to be able to sponsor our partners, spouses, fiancee for a green card. We want to be able to live our lives and just be... just be free .... like any other couple in the United States of America..... Just be.

Pass the Respect for Marriage Act...Pass the Uniting American Families Act so American can be with "liberty and justice for all".

Maybe the lesbian and gay people should join the crowd at the values bus just to let NOM know, that we, too, have values and are for marriage...marriage equality for all. .... or not. We wouldn't want to feed into the homophobic lies that support the hate crimes and the bullying against our youth or add to the already inflated numbers that NOM puts out...but that is a subject for another blog entry.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

It's Not Really Possible to Kiss While Crying

 

 

I am a woman born in the United States of America.

I am a woman born in the United States of America, raised by extremely conservative parents. Republican....John Birch Society.

I am a Conservative, Independent Fundamental Baptist, Born Again Christian Woman, born in the United States of America.

I am a Republican, Conservative, right winged Woman born in the United States of America, so conservative that I think that Jerry Falwell is a liberal.

I am a Woman falling in love............Dear God in Heaven, I need your guidance.......born in the United States............................

I am a Woman in love ..... in love....deeply in love...........with ...... with........I can't even say it

I am a Christian Woman in love........ with 13 years of Bible School ...Dear Heavenly Father direct me and please let your Holy Spirit guide my heart.....

I am a Woman born in the United States of America....in love.... with a woman....there I said it out loud and God didn't strike me dead.

I am a Woman in love with a Woman. I am a Christian. I am needing to ask God for guidance..."The Answer is in the Bible"

I am a Christian Woman, born in the United States of America, with Bible College experience....I will research.

(see over 100 hours of research links at the bottom of this blog entry)

I am a Woman born in the United States of America, a right wing Christian who believes that the Almighty God does not condemn a loving monogamous same sex relationship ever...not in the Old Testament, not in the New Testament...ever.

I am a Woman, born in the United States of America in love with a Woman born in the Netherlands. I am not liking what I am hearing the Republican Party say about my life, my relationship, my sweetheart.

I am a Woman, born in the United States, finally understanding and accepting who I am ... who I have always been. It brings a lot of answers....and peace.....and happiness...FINALLY.

I am a Woman born in the United States of America in love with a Woman from Holland with no way to get her here legally.

I am a Woman, born in the United States of America, born again Christian, not so conservative anymore, just longing to be with the love of my life and wonder why so many people are fighting so hard to keep me from this love.

I am a Woman, born in the United States of America visiting Holland. Visiting the United States Embassy in Amsterdam.....telling the truth.....VISA DENIED.... I am an American Woman, born in the United States of America, Daughter of a World War II Vet, Christian, kissing the love of my life good bye for God only knows how long.....

It really is possible to kiss while crying.

 

 

I am a Woman in love with a woman, working to get the Respect for Marriage Bill and the Uniting American Families Act passed....Everyday... until I can say that I don't have to cry while kissing the love of my life goodbye....

 

 

 

 

The Bible Says - Marriage

The Bible Says - Homosexuality

The Favorite Sin of the Conservatives

Does God REALLY Hate Homosexuals?

It is Against My Religion

Can You Justify Discrimination because of Sin?

Ruth and Naomi

Jesus, the Greatest Commandment and Homosexuality

Does God REALLY Hate Homosexuals?

 

 

Sunday, July 24, 2011

New York Marriage Equality Bitter-Sweet for Bi-National Same Sex Couples

"Hey American ... Hey American Lady.... " A man with a very thick middle Eastern accent approached us.  "Hey you are American?  I will marry you for for $40,000"  As my girlfriend (later to become my wife) and I walked along the streets of Amsterdam fourteen years ago, this offer shocked me and made me uncomfortable.  I chuckled and said something about the guy being desperate.  Today, sadly, I  understand this man's desperation all too well.

Today, NEW YORK celebrated Marriage Equality.  It was so very bittersweet.  I looked at all the pictures and had tears in my eyes for happiness for these couples.

  Congratulations from my heart to all of those who got married today and will marry in the future. 

Today, a friend of mine will leave her country in Europe and come for a short visit here in the United States.  She will visit the love of her life.  She will have to leave in three months and go back to her country of origin and leave her life partner....because there is no equality for us. 

Even if every single state in the Union and Puerto Rico were to legalize Marriage Equality...to legalize Same Sex Marriage, it would not help bi-national same sex couples...not one little bit.  Immigration is under Federal law and the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) is the law of the land.  If we could get the Comprehensive Immigration Reform (CIR) passed or the Uniting American Families Act. (UAFA) Now that is something that would remedy the situation and give us the freedom to be able to hold our loved ones in our arms...just to be able to be with them...

In the last year, two of my friends who are in a bi-national relationship will have in the last year, only spent 14 days together.  How is this justice? 

Please read my friends stories. Their courage to share what they are going through and their strength inspire me.

I am My Beloved's and My Beloved is Mine

Love Forbidden

Married and In Love, Yet Strangers by US Law

Living Our Lives Three Months At A Time

A Love Story

The Last Night: VIDEO

A lot of my bi-national friends are legally married, however because of DOMA and because of unjust immigration laws, it does not matter. Legally, we are not allowed to be together. Please, if immigration by some other way, along some other avenue were possible, all of these bi-national couples would have done it already.

Please celebrate Marriage Equality in New York and know our hearts rejoice with yours. Please understand that we still are apart from our husbands, wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, life partners and we have no legal avenue to get our spouses here. We need DOMA repealed and we need it done soon. We also need the Uniting American Families Act passed. We should have the right to sponsor our partners for immigration.

Please stand with us.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

The Bible Says - Marriage

Ruth 1:16 & 17

But Ruth replied, "Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.

Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me."

What beautiful words. No where else in the Bible can one find such an intent promise of being faithful until death. No where else in the Bible can one find one so intent on being with the other that they are willing to change religion, location, and most importantly, place of burial. These are intimate words of love, promise and faithfulness.

These verses are often heard at weddings, as a matter of fact, I spoke these very words to my beloved bride on our wedding day on June 14th. These are TRADITIONAL wedding verses.

These words are spoken by a woman (Ruth) to another woman (Naomi)

Another passage in the Bible regarding two people of the same sex having romantic feelings for each other is that of David and Jonathan. I know that people would like to explain it away as the two of them being good friends, but that is not the language that the Bible uses when describing these two men.

I Samuel 18:1-3

1 After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself.

2 From that day Saul kept David with him and did not let him return home to his family.

3 And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself.

4 Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow and his belt.

If this story had been written about Jonathan and a woman, it would be considered to be one of the sweetest love stories in the Bible. Man meets woman, immediately falls in love and gives her his prized possessions. However, because it is because the King's Son and the Man after God's own heart, they explain it away as the two of them being best friends. They want to look at this a a "brotherly friendship" between these two men. The Bible language describing this relationship does not support this description.

I Samuel 20:16

So Jonathan made a covenant with the house of David, saying, “May the LORD call David’s enemies to account.”

17 And Jonathan had David reaffirm his oath out of love for him, because he loved him as he loved himself.

King Saul also saw this relationship as being more than brotherly love. Jonathan's father, King Saul, mentions this relationship as being sexual.

I Samuel 20:30

Then Saul's anger was kindled against Jonathan, and he said unto him, "Thou son of the perverse rebellious woman, do not I know that thou hast chosen the son of Jesse to thine own confusion and unto the confusion of thy mother's nakedness?

31 For as long as the son of Jesse liveth upon the ground, thou shalt not be established, nor thy kingdom. Therefore now send and fetch him unto me, for he shall surely die."

32 And Jonathan answered Saul his father and said unto him, "Why shall he be slain? What hath he done?"

33 And Saul cast a javelin at him to smite him, whereby Jonathan knew that it was determined by his father to slay David.

34 So Jonathan arose from the table in fierce anger, and ate no meat the second day of the month; for he was grieved for David, because his father had done him shame.

In this Biblical text, King Saul speaks very strongly and even more significantly to the sexual relationship between David and Jonathan.

Uncovering the nakedness of a family member was a euphemism for incest in the holiness codes of the Old Testament , and Saul would not have used this phrase lightly. The implication is that Jonathan is bringing sexual shame on his family [because if this relationship continued, Saul's line would not be able to continue in royalty because David was to be the King].

From the Book The Children are Free

by Rev. Jeff Miner and John Tyler Connoley

Lastly on David and Jonathan is what David himself says when he learns of Jonathan's death:

II Samuel 1:25 &26

25 "How the mighty have fallen in the midst of the battle!

"Jonathan lies slain on your high places.

26 I am distressed for you, my brother Jonathan; very pleasant have you been to me;

your love to me was extraordinary, surpassing the love of women.

In my entire life, I have never heard any man say to his buddy that he loves him more than he loves his wife...not only loves him more, but the loving was sweeter. This goes well beyond two guys being good friends.

"In this story, we have a direct Biblical answer to the question: Can two people of the same sex live in a loving committed relationship with God's favor? The answer is "yes" because Jonathan and David did and the Bible celebrates their relationship."

There is a movie out called "Elena Undone" where an observation is made by one of the characters: "...I mean who really cares who is kissing who..."

Just because two men kissing makes you feel ill, just because the thought of two men having sex is repulsive to you, doesn't mean that everyone finds it grotesque and appalling. By the way, most men don't find lesbians offensive. Actually, they find it (lesbian sex) to be quite appealing although some men would not admit that publicly. So again, I believe that this moral, self righteous judgement being put upon gay folks is less Biblical and more personal.

The great State of New York just passed a Marriage Equality law which will go into effect at the end of this months. Surprisingly, several Republicans voted for the bill to be passed I would like to quote some of their statements regarding as to why they voted for equality for all Americans:

Senator Roy McDonald:

"You get to the point where you evolve in your life where everything isn't black and white, good and bad, and you try to do the right thing,"

"You might not like that. You might be very cynical about that. Well, fuck it, I don't care what you think. I'm trying to do the right thing.

"I'm tired of Republican-Democrat politics. They can take the job and shove it. I come from a blue-collar background. I'm trying to do the right thing, and that's where I'm going with this."

Senator James Alesi:

"I believe that if you live in America and you expect equality and freedom for yourself, you should extend it to other people,"

Senator Stephen Saland:

“At one time I thought civil unions afforded the opportunity to provide the ability for same sex couples to attain the status they wanted,” says Saland, who voted against same-sex marriage when a similar bill was defeated in 2009. “When I came to the conclusion that civil unions wouldn’t do it, and if you really believed in fairness and equality and doing the right thing…for me there was only one answer,” Saland says. “It was purely a vote of conscience. I did what I thought was the right thing.”

His thought process evolved through research, discussions with “many, many people on both sides of the issue,” and talks with his wife and children. “I wasn’t surprised by my wife’s support and advocacy for same-sex marriage,” he says. He was, however, struck by a question posed by his kids. “What surprised me was that all of my children, a couple of whom are more conservative than I am, basically said, ‘Why do you have a problem with supporting gay marriage?’” he recalls.

Then we had the two Senators who didn't come out smelling like roses. There was the ever loud Senator Ruben Diaz who has a granddaughter who is a lesbian. The Granddaughter stood by her grandfather until one day he was at a rally against Marriage Equality and one of the speakers, a Rev. Ariel Torres Ortega, said that homosexuals are worthy of death. Granddad Diaz did not speak up to defend his own flesh and blood. This was something that even Erica Diaz was unable to accept. She spoke up against the fact that she was unable to marry in her home state. Her Grandfather says that he will not attend her wedding when she does indeed get married. Ruben Diaz made quite a scene on the Senate floor when he was out of order, spoke too long, and another senator refused to yield the floor. All in all, I was wishing he would sit down because he was making such a fool of himself.

Senator Ball, the media grabbing, attention seeking Senator who hires a film crew to follow him around, used this marriage equality vote to gain a lot of press for himself by saying he was undecided in his vote when all along he knew he was just trying to grab the spotlight. Turns out...he made himself look like the narcissistic, closed minded, prejudiced person that he has always appeared to be in the past.

The Bible does not condemn a loving same sex relationship instead it celebrates them. I urge you to do some studying on your own. The conclusions that you come to might just surprise even you.

I urge Congress to take action and repeal the unconstitutional Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) and pass the Uniting American Families Act or the Comprehensive Immigration Reform Act soon. Families are being torn apart...families just like yours.

Monday, July 4, 2011

Happy July 4th..... Land of the Cruel and Unequal

Let me say, first of all, that I love the United States of America. There is no greater country in the entire world. I am so proud to be an American. I will never take for granted that freedoms that we have and the price that has been paid for our freedoms.

My friend lost a son in Afghanistan, my own father was a World War II veteran. I have always been the most patriotic person. I love America. It breaks my heart and I feel betrayed by my country and my family, that they cannot accept us for who we are; for whom we love.

Governor Scott Walker (Wisconsin) believes a new law that gives gay couples hospital visitation rights violates the state constitution and has asked a judge to allow the state to stop defending it.

What is the point of this cruelty. Who cares if people who love each other visit each other in the hospital. This is nothing but power hungry, power mongering political play and a case of cruelty. I don't know what the point would be to prevent people seeing each other. For those of you who have experienced this type of discrimination and homophobia, I am sorry. I work in a hospital and I have never seen this type of discrimination and cruelty. I wrote a blog entry on how to avoid this type of evil cruelty. How to Bypass Hospital Homophobia/Discrimination

Matthew Shephard Memorial Site states the following.

On October 6, 1998, Matthew was beaten and tied to a fence just outside of Laramie, Wyoming. Yet, this one tragic event shook the nation. It may have been due to the fact that this murder took place in small town America, as well as a college town. Matthew was a student at the University of Wyoming in Laramie. Even now, it is not fully clear what went on that night of October 6, 1998, but it appears to be a combination robbery and gay-bashing. Even though it has been over five years since Matthew's death, violence against gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender as well as toward minorities continues unabated. This being the case, it is important that as many sites such as this be made available to keep the awareness of this serious problem before the public. In election years, it is all the more important that these issues are addressed by our future leaders. Even though Matthew's murder appears to have been motivated in part due to his being gay, this site exists as a resource for all human rights issues, not just those of the LGBT people.
It is my belief that people like Governor Walker probably did not find the torture and death of Matthew Shepherd disturbing, hateful and sad.

A Republican Representative Eric Turner (R-Marion)in the State of Indiana made the comment as he co-sponsored a bill to further discriminate against EQUAL RIGHTS for all Hoosiers, "...it's nothing personal...it's not like this is hurting anyone..."

I beg to differ. Anytime that discrimination is written into the Constitution of any state, there is hurt being done. Our elected leaders cannot be so oblivious to this fact. They truly cannot believe that they are doing no harm to anyone by separating loved ones...please tell me they don't believe that people who are being told that they are second class citizens...please tell me that they don't believe that no harm is being done. Well, maybe they do believe that because they believe that the people being discriminated against are not deserving of a second thought. Maybe they believe that this group of people is undeserving because of who they love.

A lovely website is Top 10 Anti-Gay Activists Caught Being Gay

Just a quick thought on "He who lives in glass house should not throw stones..." and also the wonderful quote from William Shakespeare, " the lady doeth protest too much..."

My own Independent Fundamental Baptist family has now chosen to not have my wife, our boys and I be part of family functions. Upon announcing to my family that my love of 12 years and I were going to travel to the wonderful state of Iowa and get married, I received a type written letter from my two older sisters, their husbands (one of whom is an evangelist who goes around the United States preaching as to why Christians should memorize the Bible), and their adult children. It said that they had many family meetings (Of which I, my wife, or our other adult nephew were not part)and that:

"We have painfully decided as a family that if you follow through on this immoral act, we would be forced to break a lot of family relationships with you. We would have no desire to have you present at our usual family gatherings...This hurts to say this, but you would no longer be welcome in our homes."

They go on to say that the decision is mine. Yeah right. The sad thing is this, they really think that they are showing me "tough love". They really think that before God they are doing the right thing. They have been sadly disillusioned by power hungry, obsessive compulsive, and tyrannic church leadership. I don't know what they want me to do. Do they want me to give up my wife, my sons, my life, my family...that is exactly what they are asking me to do. Amazingly unbelievable isn't it. It is not their job to tell me how to live my life. I have done major research on what he Bible says about Homosexuality and have posted many entries as to my beliefs on what the Bible says. For those of you who are doubting my ability to understand the Bible I wish to tell you that from the 5th grade to graduating from the Independent Fundamental Baptist School and College, I have been in Bible School.

The Bible Says - Homosexuality

Ruth and Naomi

What Other "Abominations" Should We Condemn?

Then there is the Immigration Discrimination Issue

The vast majority of Americans have no clue as to what it takes to immigrate to the United States. Sadly, President Barak Obama made the statement that there are those who have stood inline for legal immigration..." If it were that easy, to just get in a line and get legal immigration, there would be few illegal immigrants....there would be no undocumented. However, for bi-national same sex couples, there is no line in which to stand. Unless our loved ones are rich, or extremely talented (like Sammy Sosa, Celine Dion), can get a job that no American can do, or are oppressed in their country by their government there is no line for binational same sex couples. Please consider my blog entry on how uneducated the regular American person is about immigration.

This fourth of July, let us hope and pray that this is the last one that we will say that there is a group of people in the United States that does not have equal rights. This is after all, the land of the free where all are created equal.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Bird Behind the Bar "Happy Valentines Day"

Used with permission. Thank you. This story is a powerful & different look at a story that I have followed in my blog (A Love Story & I am My Beloved's) I appreciate the opportunity to post it here in my blog.

bird behind the bar



Rants, wise words and stupid conversations
Thursday, 17 February 2011

Happy Valentine's Day

With the commercial con of Valentine's Day over, this Bird's heart can now turn without cynicism to thoughts of true love. I want to share the story of a friend of mine, a big-hearted and loving woman who deserves the best from life. Philippa has wife in the States, who's daughter from a previous marriage knows her as 'Mum', but under US federal law, unlike a heterosexual couple, her wife is not permitted to sponsor her to move to America. They are both fighting tooth and nail to change this heart-breaking and discriminatory law, with endless brave interviews, campaigns and lobbying.

The link below will tell you more than I can of this perplexing legal situation, but the story I want to tell is the one I have seen with my own eyes. This Bird has the esteemed honor of playing in a band with Philippa. She is passionate, talented and full of life. She lives much of this life, however, via webcams, mobile phones and 'facebook'. Her relationship with her wife, Inger, is so real and present I already consider Inger a friend, although I have never met her. Philippa regularly rings her during band practices, and we will play a new tune to the phone to see what Inger thinks of it. We have group phone conversations full of laughter. She also chats regularly with her daughter, helping with homework on the web cams, and even checking that she's tidied her bedroom.

I also see Philippa on the bad days: the days when all she wants in the world is to hold her wife in her arms because she has had a bad day; the times when her daughter has her first day at a new school and she cannot be there to see her at the school gate; the times when she comes to band practice bleary-eyed because the time differences mean that if she want to talk with her wife after a full day's work she has to wait up until 4 a.m.; the times when, despite the soul-deep love she has for her family, she wonders where she can find the strength to carry on. She does carry on, and I have the utmost admiration for Philippa and her wife for their courage and commitment. Even when the fight for legal change is won, Philippa will face a move 5000 miles to another continent, away from family, friends and the life she has known, to be with her family. This alone would be an act of tremendous courage for anyone, but for Philippa this would be the happy ending to the story, a sobering thought.

This Bird cannot help but wonder that, if the US government is so afraid that family values are becoming a thing of the past, surely anyone willing to make such a determined effort to keep a family together should be heralded, not discriminated against. After all, what couple could show more commitment to love and family?
Click on the title of this blog,or here, watch the short film, and I challenge you not to shed a tear.

Happy Valentine's Day x x x x x x

http://www.shewired.com/Article.cfm?ID=25890
Posted by bird behind the bar at 11:08